At most times in human history, being alone meant mortal danger and had to be avoided at all costs. It is only in recent decades that our risky experience of loneliness has become almost commonplace.
A high incidence of single-person households is now the hallmark of a wealthy society. This is partly a consequence of avoiding or delaying marriage and childbirth, and of single housing becoming more affordable, but it has serious implications.
When we live alone, we are more likely to engage in unhealthy behaviors, such as smoking or eating poorly, because no one else can see. Studies show that people who live alone are more likely to suffer from alcoholism, high blood pressure, insomnia and a weakened immune system.
In developed countries, the share of people who say they have friends or relatives they can rely on has steadily declined over the past 15 years.
Older people are consistently the most affected: On average, 53% of Americans over the age of 65 spend more than eight hours awake alone each day, according to my analysis of data from the American Time Use Survey.
The trend remains unchanged for the over 60s. But compared to ten years ago, the increase in the number of young people who spend more than eight hours alone is alarming.
Spending time alone is one thing, feeling lonely is another. And young people seem to be more affected by the latter. An ONS survey from March 2022 found that 40% of women aged 16-29 in the UK say they ‘feel lonely often, always or sometimes’, compared to 22% of women over 70 year. For men, around 22% of this age group report feeling lonely, compared to 13% of those over 70. And of course the impact of Covid lockdowns cannot be ignored.
Besides the effects this has on individual health, there is also an impact on societies. Psychologists Roy Baumeister and Jean Twenge have found evidence that feelings of social exclusion can make people more fearful and aggressive: with little superficial interaction, our sense of reality can be distorted. Another study found a link to violent extremism. Hannah Arendt painted loneliness as fertile ground for terror in her 1951 classic The origins of totalitarianism.
A number of countries, including the UK, Japan, Denmark and Australia, are trying to tackle loneliness. Those looking for solutions might want to visit the small English town of Frome to see its innovative approach to social isolation.
The town’s GP practice employs staff who care for single people in the area. There are talking cafes and ‘talking benches’ where these NHS workers are available to chat. Taxi drivers receive information on services for vulnerable customers.
The data makes the case: From 2013, when the initiative was launched, to 2017, emergency hospital admissions in the city fell by 14%. During the same period, they increased by 29% in the rest of the county.