If you can do subtly, as in “There’s a bathroom to the right and another with a bidet at the top of the stairs,” Miss Manners will allow. But only if you promise to withdraw quickly, so as not to pay undue attention to their choice.
Dear Miss Manners: All my life I have looked younger than my real age. Throughout my adolescent and adult life, people older than me at work and in my personal life have made (mostly well-meaning) comments about my youthful appearance for my age. I mostly responded to these comments by replying with a simple “Thanks,” sometimes adding “…but I’m not as young as you think,” and then redirecting the conversation to something else. Sometimes I would be asked to provide an explanation, and I would respond with the truth: “I guess I’m just lucky.” »
I’m now 51 – middle-aged – and these standard responses increasingly fail with women my age and younger (who think I’m younger than them). They seem to be looking for an opportunity to ask me very indiscreet questions about beauty products, plastic surgery and Botox.
I age 100% naturally and I tell them that I don’t use any special anti-aging products (I’m allergic to many of the ingredients in them), that I don’t wear a lot of makeup, and that I don’t have any put. cosmetic surgeries or Botox (I’m very afraid of needles). But they often continue to insist, acting as if they don’t believe me or as if I stand up to them.
Are there better ways to respond to these comments and avoid prying questions?
Don’t commit by blaming the victim, but Miss Manners fears you’re inviting an investigation when you respond, “I’m not as young as you think.” Citing luck is all you can do otherwise. That, or tell them your mother was a porcelain doll.
New Miss Manners columns are published Monday to Saturday on washingtonpost.com/advice. You can send questions to Miss Manners on her website, missmanners.com. You can also follow her @RealMissManners.
