Before Rihanna was officially announced as this year’s Super Bowl halftime performance, Taylor Swift was reportedly the lead contender. And when you think of Taylor Swift, you think of one person: Tommy Smokes. So TMZ hit my line and asked if I could come over and discuss Tay as a halftime performer. Well, about 30 seconds before my segment aired, Harvey Levin received a text message that she was OUT as a Super Bowl halftime performer. So I explained why this was great news. Here are some reasons why Taylor Swift should never even have been considered for the slot.
Taylor Swift is sexist
Taylor Swift is a man-eating sexist (towards men). She dates men just so she can stalk them, get dumped, and then cry and write a song about it. But Taylor honey, YOU are not the victim. You are the offender! In today’s anti-man society, we vilify men like Leonardo DiCaprio for dating a girl group, but what Taylor does is 10 times worse and we celebrate her. Not in my care
Taylor Swift is a crying baby
What would his performance even be at half-time? Crying into a handkerchief about all the boys who broke her heart? I don’t think she has the emotional courage to perform in front of such a large audience.
Taylor Swift destroys the environment
Despite all her hippie sermons about saving the environment, she willy-nilly rides around in her private jet and burns fossil fuels like it’s nobody’s business. Our great-grandchildren will have no idea what a tree is. And you can thank Taylor Swift for that.
Taylor Swift is gluten-free
Taylor Swift is gluten-free (probably). And I think it’s time we stopped giving these people a voice in society to spread their propaganda about how I should eat and what I should put in MY body.
Luckily, Rihanna was cast instead. She’s not only a better performer, but also a better person who probably eats gluten.