Our problem is that after he leaves the field, he asks us if he “did well” and absolutely wants our praise, even though it is obvious that he did not do well. I suppose we could lie to our son, but we don’t feel comfortable doing so. Doesn’t praising a child too much create problems?
Dad: I don’t think it’s possible to overestimate an enthusiastic 4 year old. But you have to ask yourself if he’s asking for praise because he’s anxious and wants reassurance, or because he thinks he’s awesome and is looking for a deal.
You could protect yourself by asking a few questions: “Did you have a good time there today?” “Did you do your best?” “Did you have attentive ears when coach spoke?” If the answer is “yes”, then I would say it is a winner. High-five him all the way to the car. Also find real qualities to highlight: “We saw you run very hard to get to the ball. »
Please don’t call your son a “klutz.” Children develop at different rates, and this is where I make my standard argument for exposure to music and theater as invaluable and inclusive experiences.
Dear Amy: Recently, I have had a lot of dental issues to deal with. This is due to poor health care in my youth, as well as the fact that I skipped some of my regular checkups during the pandemic. I’m very afraid of going to the dentist, so the whole time I’m there I’m in a state of anxiety. This can make some experiences (drilling, for example) worse – because I’m very tense.
I have some questions. After my last visit, upon exiting while paying my bill, the receptionist mentioned several additional “services” and treatments offered by the office. It was like she was trying to pressure me into signing up for these extra things, even though my dentist hadn’t suggested them. Is it correct?
I also wonder how to get back on my feet so as not to freak out too much during my visits. I still have work to do and I’m already worried about it. Can you give me some advice?
Worried: Dental anxiety is common and, to some extent, perfectly rational. The important health care services provided by dentists are invasive, noisy and often uncomfortable or painful. It is important to let your hygienist and dentist know that you are nervous. They can offer you increased pain control and also agree on a signal during treatment if you want them to stop and give you a break (by raising your arm, for example). Listening to music through headphones during treatment can help.
Some dentists will write a prescription for a dose of anti-anxiety medication to take before a larger procedure, while others will suggest sedation for certain treatments. Dentists know that anxiety or fear can prevent patients from receiving important care and treatment, which can harm their overall health.
As for the receptionist’s “up-sell” on exit, this is definitely something to mention to the dentist, as it adds to your distress. If this dental practice does not meet your needs well, you should seek recommendations and consider changing.
Dear Amy: Once again, you have shown enormous insensitivity to “Really tired», whose partner “jokingly” called him “an old bag”. This woman was emotionally hurt and you made a joke out of her situation. Clearly, you are not capable of being sensitive to people’s need for sensible, solid advice. Simply put, she either needs to leave or realize she’s being intentionally hurt.
Disgusted: I quoted professional comedian Josh Gondelman in my response, and we both agree on two things: this comment is mean and not funny when directed at a partner, and this “comedian” doesn’t know read the play.
© 2024 by Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency.
