If you already thought that 2020 had gotten off to a strange start, a guy nicknamed Curly Jungle Jake who makes Screech Powers look like A.C. Slater could be the greatest sex symbol on the planet before the fall of the New Year’s Eve ball.
It’s true, friends. Curly Jungle Jake could be the man who digs us out of the biggest pickle of our time.
Jungle Jake, born Dr. Jacob Glanville (not to be confused with Superbad’s Steven Glansberg), is a San Francisco doctor featured in the Netflix documentary Pandemic and heads the biotechnology company Distributed Bio.
He and his team are working tirelessly to find a medical solution for Tom Hanks’ disease and on Monday announced that he thought they had found a “candidate cure” for one.
“We are pleased to announce that we have completed the engineering and that we have very potent antibodies that may be effective against the virus,” added Dr. Glanville.
In an interview with CBS 8, Glanville, whose biography page proves that he is not outdone, provided details of the alleged breakthrough.
How did you find this potential remedy?
We took a series of five antibodies around 2002 that were able to neutralize SARS. We were able to use the technology in our laboratories to develop these antibodies against SARS in order to adapt them to recognize COVID-19.
We tried five different antibodies because we didn’t know which one would work best. All five have worked, so we have a powerful enough toolbox at our disposal to produce final therapy.
The virus is thought to be a “cousin of the old SARS,” so Glanville and his team created “hundreds of millions of versions” of antibodies to this virus, “mutated them a bit, and in this pool of mutated versions, we found the versions running through them, “reports the New York Post.
The antibodies will be sent to the United States Army Medical Research Institute of Infectious Diseases for the safety and characterization of toxins before being the last step in their use on human patients.
Pending good results – [if] we find that the medicine is safe and useful, which means that we could start distributing it for compassionate use in September.
The eyes of the world are on you, Glanville. And your co-founder in the photo at the top of this article. Give him my number so we can connect in September.