Should I ask my husband to be more conscientious about emptying his pockets, or just do it as part of the laundry chore?
Were the rocks unwanted passengers who found themselves near the golf tees? Or is your husband not the only family member at fault?
Regardless, the responsibility of the person benefiting from your efforts is to show gratitude by packing their belongings according to your rules. Miss Manners assumes voluntary compliance – and it can be assumed that the dirty laundry which is strangely heavy is not ready for the current load.
Dear Miss Manners: My husband and I, along with another couple, had just sat down at a restaurant. We were reading the menu when a woman and her husband walked past our table on their way out.
The woman stopped, looked directly at us, and asked quite loudly, “Is anyone wearing aftershave?” I said, “Well, I wear perfume.” » She actually started sniffing the air over my friend’s shoulder and asked, “What is it?” I responded with the name of the perfume. “Yes!” the woman shouted, then, “It stinks so bad in here, I’m surprised anyone can smell their food!” With that, she and her husband left.
I came up with lots of lines, like, “Then you must be glad to leave” and “You’re so loud I’m surprised anyone can hear themselves think.” » But I didn’t say anything. A friend of mine said something like, “So good riddance. » While I understand that some people don’t like perfume, was this the right way to handle the situation? It was embarrassing and caused diners at neighboring tables to stare at us. Should I just not wear perfume in restaurants?
The woman you described has no manners, but she has impeccable timing – as your friend no doubt realized when their line was delivered into the void.
Miss Manners would have ruined this woman’s timing by less willingly participating in her insult and flight. The initial request for aftershave was impertinent and, as it had been broadcast throughout the room, it could have simply been ignored. If she had been spoken to more directly, Miss Manners would have replied: “I beg your pardon?” » with a little haughtiness, then pointedly returned to his menu.
Dear Miss Manners: I have always taken the time to write short notes of condolence when I know the surviving loved ones. Are they required to acknowledge these notes in any way?
New Miss Manners columns are published Monday to Saturday on washingtonpost.com/advice. You can send questions to Miss Manners on her website, missmanners.com. You can also follow her @RealMissManners.
