Depressed: Please stop believing these reasons not to act. This is the depression talking; it tells us what we cannot, are not, do not want. He tells us to assume the worst results. It tells us that our people don’t like us or will judge us or get angry with us. He tells us everything that will hold us back.
Think of your depression as an organism that protects itself.
Then think about what helps your depression grow stronger: Keeping secrets. Delay treatment. To abandon. Adapt to fit the false narrative.
So think about all the things about your depression doesn’t want you to do: ask for help. Tell the truth. Get some fresh air. Try. Believe in yourself, in your people, in treatment.
Anything your depression wouldn’t want is what you have to do.
So make a primary care appointment, probably easier to get and better than no care at all. (Other treatment options and crisis lines: wapo.st/hax-resources.) Ask your wife for help – first with the hunt for therapy, then with making and keeping appointments, and getting or staying active, because all of that is easier for you to do. people who are not depressed.
Even if you’re right about her bad reaction, neither she nor your health improves because of the delays. Take small steps and take care of yourself.
Hi Carolyn: Thanks to a job change, I now earn three to four times more than my closest friends. For years we loved going to shows together, choosing the cheapest tickets for financial reasons. Now that I can afford it, I would prefer to buy more expensive tickets for a much better view, but that would mean no longer sitting with my friends.
I offered to pay for their upgrades once and they were offended so I never did again.
I don’t want to stop seeing shows with them, but I’m sick of sitting in the nosebleed seats where all the performers look like ants. I recently turned down their invitation to “Hamilton” on the pretext of having already seen it, then I bought orchestra tickets for me and my sister. I know lying was wrong, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell them the truth. What’s the best way to handle this?
show cap: Sometimes the best way is to use all means.
Sometimes you buy nice tickets for you and your sister, and you refuse the invitation of your friends because “I’m going with my sister”. Why lie?
Sometimes you buy two nice seats and say to your friends, “Hey, I have an extra seat. Is anyone free to join me? And you try to distribute these opportunities fairly. Purchasing a season pass package could normalize this and save you the hassle.
Sometimes, you go to see the cabaret of the ants without complaining, because the experience is not just the show; it is also sharing with friends.
If you’re concerned about scattering these events around (and beyond the theater) then they won’t be obvious – plus, you’ll see the majority of the shows from the best seats, and all with people you love. Not a bad deal. Congratulations on your new job.
