So what are the good reasons? Do they really exist? The only one left to stand up to scrutiny seems to be “Because I Wanted To”, but that actually seems worse – it has LESS substance than some of the others, which I think we can all agree are garbage.
Good reasons? : Well no, it’s not WORSE, because wanting children is an internal motivation, while your “bad reasons” are mostly external – and besides, for a child, being wanted doesn’t just have substance . It is the most precious substance there is.
Additionally, the parental desire may be a desire to give love. (And receive, but no guarantees there, that’s for sure.)
The wall you seem to be hitting is that children can’t ask to be born – so parents always make this momentous decision for them. Even if you are personally very grateful to your parents for taking you in, that doesn’t mean you can assume your child will feel the same way.
In this sense, you are on the right track. Having a child is always presumptuous.
And there are people who choose not to have children for this reason: they are not comfortable imposing life on anyone. In some cases, they themselves feel that their parents were selfish in choosing to have them. If your beliefs are along these lines, then I think it supersedes – for you, at least – anyone’s “good” reasons. Either you are comfortable with the basic presumption of conceiving children, or you adopt, foster, or not become a parent at all.
But I’m following your logical thread here; there is also the logic of innateness. Just because we have the intellect to override some of our impulses does not mean that instinct is completely corrupted.
It’s good to question our flaws, yes. And not only do I want my big decisions to include a moral calculus and situational awareness that tempers any visceral impulses, but I also hope the same will be true for the people on the highway with me. Literally as well as figuratively.
So for people who are truly pro-life, as opposed to an excessive sense of forced births, here is what I would call a good reason to have children: a burning desire to live a family life, with all the risks, rewards and wild cards. it implies – the greater the means to provide for all the children in your care, the greater the belief that the children you add to the world are, for lack of a better way to phrase it, justifiable.
Besides bordering on self-parody, that last part is also so malleable as to make no sense. Each of us can define the term “justifiable” according to our own needs.
But people have strong opinions, you may have noticed. And unless we want the strong opinions of others to determine what happens in OUR body – instead of trusting ourselves and our own aspirations, or lack thereof – we must also give others the opportunity to decide for themselves.
Thanks for the light topic.
