Is there a reason not to? We fully trust them and their spouses.
If yes, how much information should we give? Should we give them specific dollar amounts for each account? Provide all account numbers? Do we have to provide copies of our wills?
There is no mystery in our wills. My wife and I each leave our estate to each other upon either of our deaths, and the remainder equally to each child once the surviving spouse dies. The amount is quite substantial now and probably more over time.
I might also see the info update every year just so they know where things stand.
I see no reason to have a mystery. I would like it to be simple for them to sort things out when the time comes. Plus, it would help them with their own financial planning.
Staffing: You asked my advice, and my opinion is that you should keep your financial affairs private until you have the qualified attorney of your financial planner and choose an executor (perhaps one or both of your children, or perhaps a younger friend, niece or nephew).
I think it’s important that you let your children know that you and your wife are doing well financially, that your wills are written, and that they will inherit as well. I don’t think it’s necessary for them to see your wills.
Again, in my opinion, you should consider ways to distribute some of your estate before you die, perhaps by buying or helping them buy homes and establishing college funds for their children.
If you decide to release the details, do not give them your bank and investment account numbers. These must remain confidential.
Let your children and executor know where your documents are (keep them up to date with all passwords included) and make sure they can contact your lawyer and investment advisor.
Medical directives and power of attorney decisions are also important parts of this discussion.
dear Amy: As I was driving through my area on Election Day, I had a few thoughts.
What if we all took down every sign and every personal political flag, regardless of the outcome of the election?
If we didn’t all know how everyone else voted, I think we’d all get along better and not feel bad every time we saw the hat he’s wearing, the flag hanging in his garage, or the huge sign on their truck.
I used to be friendly with everyone I met along a sidewalk or walking out of a store, and now I avoid people who advertise views different from mine.
The political division is ruining everything. Let’s get back to advertising our policies only a few weeks before each election – that’s more than enough!
Tiredness: If you think political divisions ruin positive human interactions, then you should rethink your own behavior. You used to be friendly to everyone, and now if you know or suspect they voted differently than you, you avoid them.
I suggest that you have your own role to play (we all do) in terms of maintaining the peaceful and pluralistic society that citizens want to enjoy.
Voting, championing your favorite candidates or causes, and greeting others with an attitude of openness and curiosity – or at least tolerance – are all ways to claim your own cause.
These behaviors are ultimately more powerful and lasting than a road sign.
dear Amy: I respected your thoughtful response to “sad grandmother“, who feared that his son-in-law was “mean” and belittling his grandchildren.
I think you should have advised him to call Child Protective Services (CPS). Verbal abuse is abuse.
Concerned: “Sad Grandma’s” main question was whether she should advise the family to move in with her.
I agree that any time an adult suspects a child is being abused they should contact the CPS. That’s another choice this grandma will have to make.
©2022 by Amy Dickinson distributed by Tribune Content Agency
