INDIANAPOLIS – David Sanders knew right away what first hire he wanted to make as Beech Grove’s new high school boys basketball coach.
His wife, Aimée.
“I told her the other night she was going to be the team mom,” Sanders said. “She’s preparing for her role.”
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This designation is more than an honorary title. This is deeply meaningful to David and Aimee, who have struggled with personal loss for the past three years. The couple lost two sons, Kingston and Karson, who died at birth. A third, Krew, was lost in a miscarriage.
It was a journey of indescribable pain for David and Aimée, but grief also brought them closer together.
“Her grief is different from mine,” Aimee said. “But we both lost our boys and I think we tried to understand each other through our grief. David’s passion is basketball, mentoring young men and being there for kids. I’ve talked to other families and heard about other families where this tragedy took a toll on the relationship, but it brought us closer together.
Sanders, 34, believes the personal devastation narrowed his focus and put him on the path to employment at Beech Grove faster than might have happened otherwise. The 2008 Beech Grove graduate, a three-time all-conference guard for the Hornets, set the career assists record at IU-East before becoming an assistant coach on the basketball team and head track and field coach at IU-East for five years. He moved to Atlanta in 2017 to be near his ailing mother, accepting a job as an academic advisor at Georgia State.
When Aimee became pregnant with Kingston in 2021, he called then-Beech Grove coach Mike Renfro to see if there were any openings on staff. He coached the eighth-grade team that year, the same season the Hornets won the program’s first state championship in Class 3A.
Sanders became coach of the junior varsity team the following year as the Hornets reached the 3A semistate under coach Joe Rihm. He remained in that role last season as Beech Grove fell to 5-19 with an inexperienced roster; Rihm resigned after the season but will remain at the school in athletic administration.
“I think last year was a pretty one-off year,” Sanders said. “We didn’t have a lot of experience and it was a big difference going from JV to varsity, where everyone was bigger, stronger and faster. This (new) senior class, however, has won many basketball games during their career. At the end of last season we started winning and we were playing against good teams. Starting from zero college experience, they got better and better.
David’s first year at Beech Grove was also heartbreaking on a personal level. Aimee was 35 weeks pregnant when Kingston was stillborn on February 18, 2022. The couple became pregnant again later in 2022, but her son Karson was stillborn at 32 weeks on April 28, 2023.
“That’s kind of the million dollar question,” Aimee said when asked if there was a correlation between the two. “Karson had a bowel obstruction that they were monitoring but they didn’t know if that was the cause (of the stillbirth).”
Aimee was 13 weeks pregnant with her son Krew when she suffered a miscarriage on October 20, starting another cycle of grief.
“Honestly, David has been my light,” Aimee said. “I’ve seen him dedicate himself to basketball, his training and how he deals with his grief. His passion and willingness to help these kids and be their go-to person helped me as much as anything. It helped me see that not everything is bad. That’s not to say we don’t have tough days because we do. But he helps me so much.
David, who has tattoos on his right arm in memory of the three sons he lost, has always considered himself a coach. But his personal trials only reinforced this view.
“It’s something that motivated me and shaped me,” Sanders said. “I truly believe that all the losses we suffered led me to this moment. It’s my passion and something I’ve always wanted to do and something I can do to fill a void that I can put a lot of time and energy into. They always say that you become a better coach when you become a dad. I wasn’t able to do it yet, but these kids (at Beech Grove) are like sons to me.
Aimée and David plan to try again with pregnancy but are also open to adoption. They hope their story can also help others going through a similar tragedy.
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“You hear about miscarriages, but maybe not as much about stillbirths,” Aimee said. “I hope we can help other people know that you can be successful and live your life again.” It has been a difficult but rewarding journey for me to see David pour his heart and soul into our family and also the boys on the basketball team.
Sanders said he plans to build the program on four pillars: responsibility, discipline, tenacity and family.
“Those are four things we’re going to talk about every day,” he said. “We want to make these boys better men. High school basketball is great, but my goal is that when they experience the world and are done playing, they become better sons, husbands and fathers.
Call Star reporter Kyle Neddenriep at (317) 444-6649.