PETER HOSKIN reviews Warhammer 40,000 – Darktide and the Callisto Protocol

Warhammer 40,000: Darktide (PC, with an upcoming Xbox version, £32.99 or included with Xbox Game Pass)

Verdict: Friends forever

Evaluation: ****

I can’t talk, I must run – my friends and I are meeting to… purge a demonic infestation from the grimiest levels of a decaying future megacity?

Welcome to Darktide. It’s the latest video game to be set in Games Workshop’s Warhammer 40,000 universe, which began – and continues to thrive – as miniature models to paint on people’s tables.

Like its setting, this game is quite relentless in its ferocity. He sends you, a convict from space with a point to prove, to the planet Atoma Prime, where you’ll use guns, mind powers and even a chainsword – yes, a cross sword with a chainsaw – to cut through a bunch of plague monsters.

But, really, it’s about spending quality time with your friends. Much like the developer’s previous Vermintide games – which were set in the medieval-fantasy portion of Games Workshop’s portfolio – Darktide unites you with three other players so you can chain sword together as a team. These can be people you know in real life. Or they could be random on the internet.

Either way, it’s great fun to complete missions this way. Each player fills different roles – from massive enforcer to nippy sniper – and they all make a difference in battle. You will form lifelong bonds with people you will never meet, all because they healed you at the right time.

It’s true that, at the moment, Darktide might feel a little limited – eventually, its story, mission types, and battlefield roles will expand. But I’m glad I didn’t wait. There are, after all, friendships to forge and beasts to slay right now.

The Callisto Protocol (PlayStation, Xbox, PC, £54.99)

Verdict: Bloody spectacle

Evaluation: ****

yuck. And, indeed, eww. One of the features of the Callisto protocol, promoted vigorously in advanced marketing, is its horribly bloody dismemberment system. You can punch each of the limbs of an advancing zombie, then headbutt them to seal the deal. Like I say, yuck.

And also: uh! Callisto Protocol, if you hadn’t guessed it already, is a surprisingly gory horror game. You’re a space convict with a point to prove – alongside Darktide, it’s a theme this week – who’s trapped in a facility where dark things have happened. Experiences. Madness. Carnage. Your mission is to survive.

Fear not just yet, though. I’m a certified coward who couldn’t hit the limbs of a Teletubby – in fact, I might just be able to handle a Teletubby – and yet I continued to follow the Callisto Protocol and found much to admire. There is a lot of spectacle in every sticky stage of this game.

And show is really the word. There’s something profoundly cinematic about The Callisto Protocol – and not just because the lead roles are filled by digitized versions of recognizable, real-life actors.

This is one of the most breathtaking games that has ever taxed my PC setup. The sound design, all the gurgling and moaning you can hear in the background, is startlingly realistic. Even the way your controller hums and throbs in your hands is more impressive than 99% of other games.

Ironically, all that cutting-edge art translates into a pretty old-fashioned experience. The Callisto Protocol is so cinematic, such an artisanal experience, that it sometimes feels like nothing more than a spectator, guided from one wild setting to the next. It’s great if you’re in the mood for it. Less if you crave complex gameplay.

As for me? I was mostly in the mood. I’ve bludgeoned my way through hundreds of zombies – and worse – over the past week. Now bring in the Teletubbies.