What if the deadline is tight, like I won concert tickets for tonight and I’m looking for a companion? Is it okay to invite several people and let them know that the place will be taken by whoever responds first? How could I phrase this?
you will get angry less your correspondents if you give them time to respond before leaving. This also applies to the guests and Miss Manners.
Delays diminish an invitation and should therefore only be included (with an apology) if they are reasonable, unavoidable and reasonably unavoidable. A qualifying example would be: “I apologize for the incredibly short notice, but I have an extra ticket for the 8 p.m. show tonight.” Could any of you three use it? A non-qualifying example would add: “I’m at the box office now.”
Dear Miss Manners: I have a relative who has been living with her boyfriend for a few years now. Last year, they took a vacation to Asia and got married during their trip. It was essentially a runaway, as no one knew until after the fact.
My relative just sent a message on social media letting friends and family know that the last year has been hectic and they’ve made the decision to forgo a party. They plan to continue “celebrating their wedding in a more intimate way, seeing people individually”… whatever that means.
Instead of gifts, they booked a honeymoon to Hawaii. She then gave a link for people to contribute financially to snorkeling and surfing lessons.
Maybe I’m too old-school, but is that normal? Will I be in poor taste if I don’t contribute to their snorkeling and surfing lessons?
You can definitely be forgiven for noticing that your loved one only had time between vacations to reach out to find out more. Or even for not wanting to participate in their wedding in a more intimate way.
Dear Miss Manners: I know a parent who constantly says “Hey you” to her children. This drives me crazy – I think it’s a very rude thing to say to your child all the time.
Is this just something that gets under my skin, or is it actually rude and impersonal for a mother to address her children in this way?
Whose mother is We are talking about ? If it’s not yours, then Miss Manners hopes you understand that it’s not your place to intervene. And if so, she expects the two of you to discuss it and come to an agreeable compromise in a civilized manner.
New Miss Manners columns are published Monday to Saturday on washingtonpost.com/advice. You can send questions to Miss Manners on her website, missmanners.com. You can also follow her @RealMissManners.
