Apologies never came, nor any acknowledgment of our existence; Since that day, we have passed each other uncomfortably in our respective aisles. I don’t know what else we can do.
Nothing! You are looking for an apology from a man who has already given one and an explanation from a man who has none. Or at least not reasonable.
Miss Manners recommends that you let him be mortified and move forward in peace. Yes, he made a terrible mistake. But if you hadn’t pestered him for another apology and an explanation that would only make the situation worse, you might have had some hope of overcoming this situation. This now seems highly unlikely.
Dear Miss Manners: As a driver, how would you respond to a passenger who constantly interrupts the GPS with “better” directions?
“If you know a best way, I’m happy to turn off the GPS. But if we get lost, it’s your fault. Miss Manners recommends that the last part be said with at least a half-hearted attempt at humor.
Dear Miss Manners: During the pandemic, my neighbors both got covid and I brought them meals for three days. I asked if there were any dietary restrictions or foods they just didn’t care for. Now my husband and I are both sick, and friends and neighbors are delivering food that I can’t eat, either because of food allergies or IBS symptoms (which I don’t want reveal). Since no one asked about our needs and preferences, I now have pots of soup that I can’t eat – and that, when I’m sick, I need them.
Is there a polite way to say, “By the way, what kind of soup are you planning to bring?” » A friend blurted out that she was making cabbage soup and I said, “Oh, cabbage and I don’t get along.” » She pleasantly changed the menu, even though I felt bad. Others, I fear, would not be so kind, especially the person who brought me soup containing every type of vegetable that I cannot eat. She simply said, “I’ll bring you some soup,” but it could be anything from clam chowder to chili! Please, Miss Manners, what should we do?
Avoid it completely: “Oh, you’re so sweet, but I’m afraid I have quite a few dietary restrictions and I don’t want to bother you.” If that doesn’t deter those kind but misguided neighbors, Miss Manners suggests making some room in your freezer – until you’re well enough to give the soup away or serve it to someone else.
New Miss Manners columns are published Monday to Saturday on washingtonpost.com/advice. You can send questions to Miss Manners on her website, missmanners.com. You can also follow her @RealMissManners.
