Wednesday, April 17, 2024

Miss Manners: I’m fed up with negative comments about my travel choices

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Dear Miss Manners: I would like to know how to respond to others when they make negative comments about where I am traveling.

Often I have to let people know that I will be out of town. They always want to know where I’m going, but they follow up with negative comments, such as “I wouldn’t go there” or “I heard this area isn’t worth visiting.”

You could stop tell these people where you are going, by simply saying “Go”.

But Miss Manners would be tempted to say: “Yes, that’s what we tell people to avoid the problem of overtourism.” »

Dear Miss Manners: When I was growing up, my parents told me that it was never okay to discuss money – not how much something costs, nor how much money you have in the bank, nor how much money you have. pension, nor his inheritance. My impression was that this was bragging or that it would trigger comparisons that might breed resentment. People would judge you based on how much money you had (or didn’t have).

My close friend has no problem talking about the cost of her car, how much she spent on vacation, what she gets in her pension, how much she has in an IRA, etc. She finds it strange that I don’t want to reveal it. my financial situation.

So I thought: Maybe I was actually taught that talking about money was “low class” or that people who were comfortable with their financial situation didn’t need to talk about. Or do people who didn’t grow up with enough money like to talk about what they have now and how they’re doing?

Why was I taught that discussing money was rude? Why do I still believe this?

Because your parents We were right: it amounts to bragging, leads to unpleasant comparisons, and uses money to calculate people’s broader worth.

Miss Manners begs you not to twist this to mean otherwise. Obviously, refraining from discussing your finances is the opposite of lording it over people who have less money than you. Just because your friend is discussing her money doesn’t mean you have to. Your parents must also have taught you that if a friend jumps out of the window, you don’t have to follow them.

Dear Miss Manners: My friend and I had an exquisite meal at a very expensive restaurant. I paid because they didn’t have their wallets on them, even though they ordered most of the food for themselves. Long story short, how can I politely refuse to pay for dinner tonight?

In fact, monitoring dinner makes it easy. You don’t need to collect invoices; When the check arrives, simply say, “Your turn.” I got it last time.

Dear Miss Manners: Hypothetically, if no one offers to throw a bride-to-be a shower or bachelorette party, should she ask for one?

If she doesn’t her mind seeming pathetic, she can ask for anything, including honors that no one she knows is inspired to give her otherwise. This does not mean they have to comply.

New Miss Manners columns are published Monday to Saturday on washingtonpost.com/advice. You can send questions to Miss Manners on her website, missmanners.com. You can also follow her @RealMissManners.

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