The other day I walked into the restroom just as a fellow gentlewoman was furiously unleashing a nasty barrage of waste from her bowels. It was both noisy and aromatic.
I immediately turned around and left the restroom, returning a few minutes later when I was sure that co-worker had finished and left the restroom.
But I fear that if the roles were reversed – if it was me who “exploded” in the toilet – that a colleague would not offer me the same intimacy.
I’ve been to sporting events, concerts, and airports that have a bank of 20 or more stalls in the ladies’ room, and I don’t mind that much because those toilets are noisy – flushing, women talking, dripping taps, etc. And even when those toilets aren’t as active and noisy, you can at least select a stall that’s not directly next to an occupied stall. You can distance yourself.
But in a two-cabin toilet this is not possible, so what is appropriate in this situation? I’m tempted to ask a superior to put some kind of lock inside (perhaps a simple hook and eye) so that a user has the ability to “do their business” in privacy.
Good. He’s going there breakfast. And no, Miss Manners reluctantly assures you, by the same means as your unnecessarily graphic description.
Etiquette dictates that one works as hard as possible not to notice bodily functions – especially when they are already taken care of in the proper facilities. But of course, ask your supervisor for a padlock. Please spare them the startling descriptions you have unduly left of Miss Manners and her hapless readers.
Dear Miss Manners: I have a good friend who sent me a present for my birthday. The note that came with it read, “Here’s a gift, hope you like it!” You may already have it, so I’m sending the gift receipt!
I thanked the friend in a text message and told him that I would wait to open it until my birthday. She replied, “I hope you don’t have it already!” When I opened it later, I actually already had it. I texted her, thanking her for the lovely gift and telling her it was perfect.
His response, “Did you already have it?” I would have preferred not to answer because I didn’t want to lie or disappoint her. But his insistence forced me to choose. What response would Miss Manners advise?
The answer can be relayed politely, as in “Yeah, but I’m glad I have two scalp massagers. I can put one in the bathroom and one in the living room.
Or, Miss Manners points out, “I can definitely use both” can refer to your use in your gift collection.
New Miss Manners columns are published Monday to Saturday at washingtonpost.com/board. You can send questions to Miss Manners on her website, missmanners.com. You can also follow her @RealMissManners.
