Thursday, April 18, 2024

Miss Manners: Guest makes rude comment about my china tea set

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Dear Miss Manners: A boy I knew in college, but wasn’t close friends with, recently moved to my town and we decided to meet up to reconnect. He brought pastries and I served tea on my terrace.

When I pulled out my blue tea set, he made an off-putting remark about how the situation didn’t require me to “pull out my best china.” The tone was rude and I felt small about making this casual event a little more enjoyable. I’m sure he did this defensively to indicate that we didn’t have a date. And then he’s a bit of an idiot. But I could only respond with a “Huh?” » disconcerted. because I hadn’t “broken out” my best china.

I realize that most people don’t have one, let alone two, sets of china, but I do, and I was using my less beautiful set – the, shall we say, ugly china that I I didn’t care if it cracked. He was trying to shame me for doing something “extra”, when in fact I hadn’t. So how should I have reacted? There is no polite way to tell someone that you DID NOT bring out your beautiful china for them.

When was there he tricks you like that. “Oh, don’t worry,” you might have said. “I know. It’s not my good china.

Dear Miss Manners: We host a religious wedding ceremony followed by a reception in a private venue in which no alcohol is permitted. Even though we are abstinent, we recognize that we do not have the right to impose our beliefs on others. Still, we could not, in good conscience, provide alcohol to anyone. We want to invite a lot of friends who drink alcohol, but I’m afraid they will be disappointed (or not want to attend at all) if they find out that no alcohol will be served. I will send out the wedding invitations soon. What would Miss Manners advise: Should I mention in the invitations that alcohol will not be served?

In what sense is this impose your beliefs on others so as not to buy them alcohol? If Miss Manners fails to serve ice cream to those who love her, would she interfere with their beliefs? Besides, is drinking a belief? But she has a more pertinent question: Why would you invite people to your wedding who wouldn’t want to attend unless they were drinking?

Dear Miss Manners: When can you pick the bone from a rack of lamb to salvage the last delicate piece of meat?

At picnics, in privacy family dinners, and in the kitchen after the guests have left.

New Miss Manners columns are published Monday to Saturday on You can send questions to Miss Manners on her website, You can also follow her @RealMissManners.

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