What do you suggest? How can I respond politely while indicating that I would like to know what the real question is? I love these friends and I love a drink, but I’d rather be asked, “Hey, do you want to go for a drink?”
Just because you Being at home doesn’t mean you’re not doing anything. If you want to proactively arm yourself with an excuse, Miss Manners suggests responding with “read,” “clean” or “wash my hair,” as appropriate — or with an all-purpose “catch-up” or “relax” . »
If that doesn’t deter your spontaneous friends, “I’m up for the evening, but I’d love to plan another day” is also valid.
Dear Miss Manners: I often socialize with a wide range of friends and acquaintances without the presence of my husband – and the father of our children. If the person I’m talking to doesn’t know my husband, is it better to talk about “my” child or “our” child?
It’s especially difficult if I’m walking my dog with a friend and we stop to talk with other dog walkers who aren’t familiar with our relationship. If I talk about “our” child, I worry that dog lovers will think that the man I’m with is the father. It’s a small concern, to be sure, but I want to appropriately give credit where credit is due.
It’s perfectly fine to say “my”. Miss Manners is certain that your husband will forfeit the joint credit in her absence, rather than having to explain to strangers why someone else is pretending to be the father of his child.
Dear Miss Manners: I don’t know how to deal with cell phone use when I’m at a restaurant with my granddaughter and her boyfriend. It seems so rude for them to sit and use their phones while we’re supposed to be having a meal together – and, might I add, I’m still paying the bill. I finally popped my cork and said, “Surely you can visit without a phone for a while.” » Was I too rude?
If we want To prevent corks from popping, you may want to lay out the ground rules first. For example: “Let’s enjoy each other’s company while we’re here, and then you can take care of your phones.” » If you’re concerned that giving instructions is above your pay grade, Miss Manners assures you that grandparents are given special dispensation to make and enforce the rules in their care, even if their grandchildren children think otherwise.
New Miss Manners columns are published Monday to Saturday on washingtonpost.com/advice. You can send questions to Miss Manners on her website, missmanners.com. You can also follow her @RealMissManners.
