Tuesday, April 16, 2024

KFC’s Chizza is a chicken-pizza mashup with a looming question: why?

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Some things in life have no mystery. Maybe think of a Ryan Gosling character or a golden retriever. They offer no depth to plumb, no riddle to solve. With these articles of evidence, we know precisely what to expect. The same goes for the Chizza, the latest item on KFC’s stunt menu, which doesn’t wear a single veil, let alone seven.

The chicken chain is clearly aiming for extravagant novelty with this limited-time dish (after all, it’s the same brand that cursed civilization with the famous “Double Down”, a “sandwich” whose buns were formed of… chicken., as well as a donut-wrapped chicken sandwich). But for all his Frankenstein energy gone wild, this one is no enigma.

“I know what this is going to taste like,” said two colleagues who encountered the Chizza at different times, each before taking a bite that confirmed their confidence in their ability to judge a book by its cover a dozen to not. It turns out that the Chizza is exactly the sum of its parts. Simply put, it’s a chicken cutlet—the briny, well-breaded, deep-fried stuff the chain is known for—topped with a small amount of pizza sauce, mozzarella cheese, and slices of pepperoni.

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Pizza meets chicken, chicken meets pizza. It’s as if someone working in the kitchen of one of those KenTacoHuts (you know, the KFC/Taco Bell/Pizza Hut combination location recounted in the caption and song) showed a little creativity late at night when his shift was slow and the manager was away. for a cigarette break.

Of course, the name may surprise you (the company pronounces it “cheet-zah,” not “chizza” or “cheez-ah). But the visual cues it offers are so familiar that it doesn’t take much imagination, no matter how much KFC plays up its gimmicky side, to get a sense of what it is and whether you’ll like it .

It’s pretty well executed, so if the idea of ​​a plate of chicken parmesan with a few slices of pepperoni appeals to you, he’s your man. (Also, as they say, bless your heart.)

One caveat: it’s even saltier than you think. Usually I’m a fan of KFC’s well-brined meat and seasoned breading, but this new format illustrates how it fares much better between two slices of bread, which offsets the intense saltiness. In the Chizza there is nothing that absorbs or distracts from all that salt. The slightly sweet marinara provides a counterpoint, but when you add mozzarella and charcuterie discs, you have a recipe for a military-grade salt bomb.

Another problem is the price, which seems high for what you get, even in the era of the $16 Big Mac. A full-size Chizza, made from two fillets, was $10 at my local KFC. A “small” (a single fillet) was $6.

I’m convinced the Colonel disappointed the ingredients – the sauce, cheese and pepperoni – from KFC’s sibling, Pizza Hut (both are owned by Yum! Brands). The sauce offered just a hint of Italian herb flavor without being overpowering, and the cheese and pepperoni were, if not of the highest quality, at least deployed in manageable quantities.

Not surprising either? Chizza is still difficult to eat. After all, there is logic to the construction of a pizza, which you can even fold for maximum ease of transport from plate to mouth. There’s a justification for the sandwich mechanic (just ask the card-playing Earl of Sandwich, who may have apocryphally invented the format to keep his royal fingers clean while playing).

But Chizza demands that one take a piece of breaded chicken in one’s hand and try in vain to pretend that this is an appropriate way to consume food. Dear reader, this is not the case. And if this is part of KFC’s attempts to normalize such behavior (remember Double Down), I think we need to take a stand and say for the record that it is. It’s not good eat a chicken cutlet without buns and without utensils of any kind. Nuggets? Good to grab and dip. But a whole chicken patty is not an appetizer. Chizza therefore requires a knife and fork, which really goes against its fast food/pizza DNA.

In general principle, I’m all for eliminating borders, removing the boxes and labels that limit our foods (and us!) we should all be free to live our wild and precious lives as we see fit! ). In this house, we think granola can be tasty and pancakes are an acceptable dinner. I love all kinds of weird suitcases, from Cronuts to totchos. So forgive me for sounding like a stuck-up traditionalist, but at least when it comes to portable foods, what’s wrong with good old-fashioned dinner rolls? Or scabs?

Okay, I know I said that the Chizza contains no mystery, but that raises another question: who exactly is a Chizza for? Did anyone really ask that? [looks around the void] No?

Certainly not the pizza purists, those who will undoubtedly clutch their marinara-speckled pearls there. And not the road warriors who rely on fast food while they drive.

A colleague of mine may have found the answer, which is as obvious as everything else in this drive-in El Camino: “If I came back to a friend’s house late, drunk or high, and he said to me, ‘ I if I had a Chizza, I would eat it.

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