“At this point, let’s call ABC what it really is, Disney-,” Jimmy Kimmel joked in a scathing tiny-screen roast at Disney’s Virtual Upfront.
“Isn’t there something to say about dying with dignity?” Live! host added. “Somehow, while everyone has been stuck in their homes with nothing to do but watch TV for the past 14 months and we still managed to lose grades,” Kimmel added in a big Oscar-winning slam and pretty much everything else on the Big 4 on the Coronavirus pandemic.
“Give us your money, we’re Disney, we’re going to get it one way or another,” Kimmel said of the Upfronts corporate pitch session. . “: Give us your money or we’ll kill Baby Yoda.”
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The Mandalorian The star was far from the only big name to be burned by Kimmel on Tuesday in his annual roast.
Kardashians Matriarch Kris Jenner, bragging rights and Disney executives’ “glossary of bullshit” corporate jargon have also been targeted. Much like NBC’s insistence that the Tokyo Olympics continue despite the increase in Covid cases in Japan, CBS viewership boasts huge spending from Amazon and super-producer Dick Wolf. Towards the end, outgoing Bob Iger and his successor as CEO Bob Chapek were burned.
“We don’t have Dick,” Kimmel lambasted the Chicago any EP. One thing we can promise is that this company will always be run by an instinct named Bob in an open collar shirt, ”the comedian claimed at another point, pulling on the House of Mouse food chain.
These weren’t all jokes today, with the end of an era looming.
“I just want to say, I don’t know if he really leaves, but if he does, and I hope he doesn’t, but if he does it on behalf of all of us at Disney, I want to say thank you to Bob Iger for all you’ve done for me, for us, ”Kimmel said as the executive chairman prepares to leave Disney at the end of the year. “So why was this mess Mulan 30 dollars? “
A tradition at ABC for nearly 20 years, 2021 is the second year in a row the late-night host has served their roast from a distance for the entire Disney Empire. Kimmel filmed the segment last night, I hear. ABC’s and Everybody’s teardown comes after Disney’s (slightly glitchy) appearance on screens across America early today at a digital press conference preempting their own initial presentation this afternoon .
As always, everyone and their dog took a hit, but nothing more than ABC itself.
“Things are so desperate that we had to resort to the right thing: inclusion,” Kimmel noted. “We want ABC, Disney, FX, Hulu, Freeform, ESPN and Nat Geo to be a safe space where everyone, regardless of their racial or ethnic background, gender or sexual orientation … we want our platforms to be a place where everyone can bring their stories to death.
And then Kimmel really brought out the shiv to the delight of the piece of laughter.
“And what do you do when you want to bring more people of color to the tent?” Asked the longtime host rhetorically. “You sign a long term deal with the NHL – ‘White People On Ice! After 17 years, the NHL is back on ABC and ESPN. Finally, the fourth favorite sport in the United States returns to its fifth favorite network. “
Coming near the end of the executive’s two-hour plus presentation and Disney music video, Kimmel’s 11-minute roast, which proved the star of this month’s breakout. Vax Live event with her Robin costume next to Ben Affleck, followed by a stripped-down take on What The World Needs Now Is Cynthia Erivo’s Love That Kicks Up Upfront.
Following the Aretha star’s song, a Morgan Freeman recounted the montage of current Disney biggest hits, including Brad Pitt at the 2021 Oscars, Kimmel at the 2020 Emmys, The Handmaid’s Tale and Sports, was next. Then, an intro on the “seismic shift” of the small screen industry by Rita Ferro, director of ad sales, ABC News in New York and the House of Mouse, was on its way to the advertisers’ races.
“We’re a dying breed,” Kimmel said of network television and its ad-dependent revenue stream at the end of the whole period. “The good news is that we are dying together. In fact, that’s our theme for the next Upfront: Dying Together ”