JANE GREEN: The shameful truth about Barbra Streisand’s acid attack on Melissa McCarthy’s weight – and why her cruelty proves WOMEN are still the biggest bullies

Melissa McCarthy attended a gala in Los Angeles this weekend in a glamorous mint green dress and looked newly slim and stunning.

Clearly proud of this lighter look, Melissa posted photos of herself and choreographer Matthew Bourne on her Instagram. But one star wasn’t ready to give him his moment:

‘Give him [Bourne] my greetings, have you taken Ozempic? Barbra Streisand’s official account commented under the photo.

Fans rallied behind McCarthy, stunned by the Oscar winner’s cruelty, her lack of discretion and, frankly, the apparent bitchiness of the question.

Unsurprisingly, the comment was later deleted, with Streisand later returning to Instagram to insist that McCarthy was a “friend” and that she was only trying to “pay her a compliment.”

“I forgot that the world reads!” she added.

Certainly, it’s at least possible that Streisand, 82, tried to send McCarthy a private message and simply made a mistake. How many older people do we all know who are true Luddites when it comes to technology?

It reminds me of the many times my 80-year-old mother forgot to hang up our phone calls and turned to my father with the line still active. “Jane is absolutely crazy,” she said the other week.

But if Streisand’s explanation is to be believed, then she clearly hasn’t quite understood that the world has changed. Making comments about weight is simply no longer acceptable – privately or not. Instead, we say, “You look beautiful,” and leave it at that.

To go further betrays not only a lack of compassion, but also a lack of good manners.

Of course, in an increasingly crowded market, celebrities and people with public profiles must share more and more of themselves online. They must find new and often shocking ways to retain their subscribers, to encourage fans to watch their latest films, to beg them to buy their books or even their fancy new jam.

And then it’s easy for the rest of us to think that we know these people, that maybe we have the right to ask invasive questions, pass judgment, or seek answers in the comments section that we don’t. ‘We would never dare to demand in real life.

In many ways, we all have a hard time feeling sorry for the rich and wealthy. They know the game, the deal they made with the devil of Hollywood.

But we all have a right to some privacy – and weight in particular is a fragile issue for women, especially those of a certain generation.

Growing up in the ’70s – like McCarthy, 53 – I was raised to believe that anything less than thin was unacceptable.

So-called “body positivity” didn’t exist. Everywhere you looked, front pages, magazine covers, and TV ads declared that diets were the only path to happiness—and we believed it.

I remember my mother putting me on a “grape diet” for three days in an effort to reduce what she called my “large thighs” and “rounded stomach.” I was eight years old.

Weight shame has paralyzed many of us. No matter how confident we may appear as adults, the insecurities learned as children are still carried with us.

Conversations about weight, about hating our bodies, about hating the lack of self-control that leads to binge eating, to punitive self-restraint, happen in private, if at all.

This is why so many suddenly slim celebrities no longer admit they’re on Ozempic.

I applaud Sharon Osbourne — who has been radically honest about her recent dramatic weight loss — but I completely understand why so many other famous women have chosen to stay silent about their use of fat-fighting drugs.

Yet Streisand’s apparent disregard on Instagram goes deeper than simply seeking the truth about McCarthy’s alleged use of Ozempic.

His rather unbrotherly comments got me thinking about a recent interpersonal friction on my part.

A few days ago, I made a joke on my own Instagram account about having a “mid-life crisis.”

I am currently and painfully separated from my husband and we are beginning divorce proceedings. There is still a deep love and friendship there, but we found ourselves on very different paths.

Few people know – we experienced our separation in private. But when I made that flippant joke, I heard from an old friend I’ve known and thought I loved for almost 25 years now.

“I’m so sorry you ruined your marriage because of a mid-life crisis,” she wrote casually.

I was stunned by his rudeness, by his lack of compassion, that someone I thought was a friend thought it was acceptable to send such a thoughtless, heartless message.

I responded to her by telling her that she had no idea what went on behind closed doors, no idea why we separated, and that her sheer rudeness was a stunning betrayal.

This continued for a while, but she had absolutely no regrets, no understanding of how much she had upset me.

The “fourth wall” of social media has emboldened far too many bullies, hiding safely behind their keyboards and iPhones, believing that it is acceptable to pass judgment and spew venom, as if digital separation makes them better things.

But there is also a women problem here. Streisand, my old friend… women really can be so cruel to other women.

Jealousy is indeed a green-eyed monster – and one that has ruined far too many female friendships. The “perfect” bodies, the enviable vacations, the small portions of expensive salad displayed in social media posts by women seemingly at war. with each other This all makes things much worse.

It’s not easy being a woman in today’s world, where plastic surgery and perfection are seen as constant mirrors.

But the truth is that we all share the same insecurities, the same worries: we are not good enough, pretty enough, thin enough. It’s time we stop judging each other and instead recognize that when women support each other, we all rise together.