Gillian Anderson says she still struggles to put her needs first and take care of herself in relationships.
The 54-year-old actress admits it’s taken her years to find her voice and speak out without fear of offending people, and insists she still struggles to find the courage to do so today.
Looking back on situations she’s found herself in in the past, she told the Women’s Prize for Fiction podcast: “When I was younger, the number of situations I put myself in, knowing it was a bad idea.”
‘Oh my God, the voice of reason and self-care on my shoulder, saying, “Step back take a step back.”
“I listened and I still struggle with it, which is ridiculous. I’m incredibly outspoken and I feel like I’m being too outspoken most of the time.
Speaking out: Gillian Anderson, 54, says she still struggles to put her needs first and take care of herself in her relationships
“I stand up for myself, I stand up for my needs, what I want and what is right. I sometimes find myself shutting up or verbally clarifying something because I’m afraid I’ll hurt someone’s feelings, afraid they’ll be mad at me.
‘Even though I know what I need to say is important and true, and something I need, and I just need myself. It puzzles me why these two things can co-exist.
“I could be those two women and I think that’s a challenge of a lifetime.” I’m really old and I’ve been struggling with this for a long time, and I don’t see it ending anytime soon.
Gillian is launching a new project in the form of a book called Dear Gillian in which she hopes to explore and empower the sex lives of women around the world, with the Sex Education star asking women to submit an anonymous letter disclosing their fantasies.
It comes after Gillian sparked speculation she rekindled her romance with The Crown creator Peter Morgan after the couple were spotted walking hand-in-hand in London together.
Peter was a writer on the Netflix show’s fourth series in 2016, in which Gillian played the late Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher.
Gillian and the 59-year-old screenwriter dated for four years before splitting in 2020.
The split was reportedly amicable, with suggestions that their very demanding work schedules played a part in the end of the relationship.
Go back on? It comes after Gillian sparked speculation she has rekindled her romance with The Crown creator Peter Morgan (pictured in 2020)
A few weeks after their separation, Peter was dating filmmaker Jemima Khan, but the couple decided to call it quits in February 2021.
While the pair put on a comfortable display on their walk through the UK capital, the couple never lived together while they dated.
Gillian once told the Guardian: “My partner and I don’t live together. If we did, it would be our end. It works so well as it is and it’s so special when we come together.
“There’s nothing that locks us down, nothing that instills this fear of ‘Oh my God, I can’t leave because what will happen to the house, how are we going to part?’
“I miss the person I want to be with, which is a nice feeling.”
While working on The Crown together, they decided not to talk about work while they were together for the sake of their relationship.
Gillian told TV Week: ‘We made a pact that we weren’t going to talk about it at all.
“I wasn’t allowed to speak with him or express opinions about the scripts, and he wasn’t allowed to express opinions about my performance.
“Somehow we managed to stick to it, which is amazing because none of us can stop expressing our opinions the rest of the time!
US star Gillian, who played Margaret Thatcher in series four of the Netflix drama The Crown, attended the series five premiere at the Theater Royal, Drury Lane last November.
A source at the time said: ‘She and Peter are good friends again and she was there to support him. It is not clear if this extends into a romance, they are a very private couple.
Tome: Gillian is launching a new project in the form of a book called Dear Gillian in which she hopes to explore and empower the sex lives of women around the world (pictured in November last year)
