Ian Holloway is without a doubt one of the most colorful characters in football.
The talkSPORT favorite, who is currently the director of the League Two Grimsby Town team, has never been afraid to express his views on a given subject.
Here we have scanned the archives to select some of the best quotes from Holloway – and there are many, so take advantage!
By winning ugly …
A 3-0 home victory is enough to send most managers home on a Saturday night – but not Ian Holloway.
While the QPR boss at the time was happy to see his team record a second consecutive victory on its soil at the start of the 2003/04 campaign, the way of doing things was somewhat lackluster.
And Holloway explained it well after the game by talking to reporters, in what has been and remains one of the most hilarious press conference exchanges of all time!
“To put it in terms of a gentleman if you went out for one night and you are looking for a young woman and you get one, some weeks they are beautiful and some weeks they are not the best,” he said. declared.
“Our performance today would not have been the most beautiful bird, but at least we put him in the taxi.
“She was not the most beautiful lady we ended up bringing home, but she was very nice and very nice, so thank you very much, let’s have a coffee.”
On his admiration for Cristiano Ronaldo…
In 2008, Holloway expressed his love for the world-famous superstar in his BBC column. God knows what he would say about the Juventus striker now considering all the other awards he has won in the past 12 years!
“He is six feet tall, something like a flea, handsome – he must have something wrong with him,” he said.
“I hope he hangs like a hamster – it would make us all feel better. That said, I missus has a pet hamster at home, and his huge c ** k. “
Holloway advocates for video technology in its own unique style in 2009…
VAR has proven to be a massive topic of discussion after its introduction to the Premier League this season.
And if Holloway had made its way, it would have existed more than ten years ago!
“Why don’t they have cameras? Officials can now talk to each other fairly easily,” he said.
“Why don’t we use laptops that are connected and can make a decision in five seconds? A chimp could do it – with little training.”
By comparing the transfer window to the purchase of milk…
Holloway has never been a big fan of the transfer window as a manager, as shown below!
“It was a real living nightmare, to be honest,” he said during his tenure as boss of Blackpool.
“It’s just ridiculous, I don’t see who benefits at all. When my wife goes shopping, we regularly need milk and bread.
“We can’t buy everything at first, then wait until January, because everything would be gone.”
On the idea of a Winter World Cup in 2022…
Ollie made it clear that he was not a big fan of Sepp Platter and Michel Platini during his days in Blackpool – and FIFA for that matter.
He is safe to say that he did not like the idea of a Winter World Cup – which will take place in two years – and that he once made an incredible rant to express his frustrations.
“I think the world has turned its head completely. It’s crazy. We’re just going to change everything because it’s very hot, ”he exclaimed.
“What is happening to our football and everyone who would play with it?” Do we just stop for a moment? Genius, absolutely magnificent.
“I’m going to go home and say to my turkeys,” It’s not Christmas, we’re moving it – it’s good, you have a bit of a break! I had a word with FIFA and we are going to move Christmas, it’s not a problem. “
On Tony Fernandes and Steve McClaren…
In an explosive interview with talkSPORT last year, Holloway dropped the aforementioned pair, accusing Fernandes of having spoken with former England boss McClaren in the back before chopping him at the end of the 2017 campaign / 18.
“Everything revolves around the owners at the end of the day,” he said. “If they want someone else they have always watched, what can you do?
“The point is that someone talked to someone else and was told they had the job in December .
“Some things should work a certain way, but I can’t control who the owner is talking to, right?
“If I were his girlfriend [Tony Fernandes] and he is talking to someone else [Steve McClaren] It’s not my fault, is it? Does it hurt? Sure, it’s bloody, especially if he likes it more, but that’s life. “
On Joey Barton, Everton fans in the full moon…
In a 2006 BBC column, Holloway jumped to the defense of Manchester City midfielder Joey Barton, who caused quite a stir when he decided to reveal his back to Everton fans in a Premier Clash League at Goodison Park.
“It was a little cheeky wasn’t it? But I don’t think it was that bad. It would have been worse if he had turned around and dropped the front of his shorts instead.
“I don’t think there is anything wrong with a few cheek buttocks personally. If someone is offended by seeing a behind, become real.
“Maybe they’re just jealous that he has a really tight one, without cellulite or anything.”
After obtaining promotion to the Championship with QPR…
After a decisive victory in Sheffield on Wednesday the last day of the 2003/04 campaign, Holloway was in a very good mood after the match – and once again delivered an excellent one-liner!
He said, “Every dog has its day, and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark! “
After seeing his QPR team record a 1-0 victory against Cardiff in December 2005, Holloway felt rather lively after the match!
He said, “I couldn’t be more shocked if I was a badger at the start of the mating season!”
The best of the rest….
Responding to offers for Blackpool captain Charlie Adam…
“Dream! If they want to insult me by offering only 3.5 million pounds, then make all the paper and try to disturb me, sorry, they bark the wrong tree, they play with the wrong dog and I’m going to bite them. “
On QPR’s financial situation …
“It’s like the movie Men in Black. I’m walking in a black suit, a white shirt and a black tie where I had to flash my white light from time to time to erase certain memories, but I feel that we now we have the galaxy. It’s in our hands. “
“Paul Furlong is my vintage Rolls Royce and it cost me nothing. We polish it, we treat it and I have it refined by my mechanics. We take good care of it because we have to drive it every day, not just keep it for weddings. “
On the saga of transfers from Rooney to Man United…
“If Alex Ferguson is being bullied by a player and his agent, how bad is the game?” They say it is not fair to the player. Garbage.
“The player got his salary every week. They bought it, they worked with it, it belongs to them. It’s so obvious. “
On the transfer value of Darren Bent…
“If Darren Bent is £ 24 million, the game has gone crazy. You cannot buy a four-bedroom house for the price of a two-bedroom house. “
On a particularly poor course at QPR
“I was so unlucky right now that if I fell into a barrel of breasts, I would go out sucking my thumb.”
“I watched Arsenal in the Champions League the other week playing the best football I have ever seen, and yet they could not have scored in a brothel with two pianos in their pockets!”