You will find wild and strange things deep in the internet. Like this website that wants to sell celebrity cell meat.
JACKSONVILLE, Fla – How much would you like to get a seat at your table for your favorite celebrity?
Well, after diving into a wormhole in the deepest, darkest parts of Twitter (yikes), we’ve found a website that wants to give you that opportunity, literally.
The company, Bite Labs, says it wants to collect biopsied cells donated by various celebrities who want them.
Through a process that they say is safe, healthy and environmentally friendly, they can take these cells and turn them into muscle tissue, AKA meat.
The company wrote a “this-must-be-a-joke” everywhere. But articles written about the founder and the company since 2014 indicate that this is the real thing.
“In the tradition of Italian deli meats, we dry, age and season our product into deli meats,” reads the company’s website. “It all starts with your favorite celebrities and a quick biopsy to get tissue samples.”
Although, according to the website, it does not appear that the company has been successful in attracting famous people yet. However, Bite Labs is enlisting the help of potential consumers by encouraging people to “tweet your favorite celebrities” to support them.
The website even goes so far as to list a few suggested celebrities and describe complex flavor profiles. Take James Franco for example:
“James Franco. He’s sexy. He’s artistic. Let’s make him salami. Franco salami should be smoky, sexy and smooth. Franco’s meat will go well with lean and strong venison. The sharp Tellicherry peppercorns and Caramelized onions provide the underlying flavors of Franco, complemented by a charming touch of lavender. The taste of Franco salami will be arrogant, distinctive and totally unmistakable. “
Other suggested celebrities include Ellen DeGeneres, Jennifer Lawrence, and Kanye West.
Visit the website at www.bitelabs.org.