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Dear Carolyne: About 12 years ago, one of my closest and most important friendships imploded. We were both going through some things, as well as drama/trauma within our friend group. Neither of us could be what the other needed, and sometimes we were the exact opposite.
The final blow to our relationship came in the form of an email detailing how I was not only primarily responsible for the deterioration of the relationship, but also a burden to our other friends. As someone who experienced abandonment and alienation from his friends for most of my childhood – something he knew – this was particularly painful. I received a paragraph in the email, closed it and made a rule to put anything in a “do not read” folder and moved on with my life.
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