Do you think that for my own morals I need to sever ties with my family?
– Religious differences
Religious differences: IF you think that the teachings of this religion are as morally wrong as neo-Nazism – yes – then, yes, you must treat your family members who embrace these teachings as if they were neo-Nazis.
If there is a moral difference between the two belief systems, then your moral obligation changes as well.
Ultimately, only you can determine.
You can also, of course, choose the values you prioritize:
Does the family take precedence over the morality of individual beliefs or does morality take precedence over everything?
Do your priorities change whether these beliefs are applied or not, or is the belief sufficient anyway? Does choosing religion mean choosing each of one’s beliefs, or are adherents responsible only for the principles they adopt?
Or does utility to the collective good completely displace both family and morality, if there is a chance to stay connected will give you more power over your family’s immorality than if you choose to isolate yourself from them?
It’s a lot. Being torn is almost obvious.
And you will certainly find a lot of people anxious about similar conflicts, if you look, and not even very hard.
It’s also your prerogative to decide, always, that you don’t like the effect that some people have on you and that you don’t want to associate with them anymore for that reason alone. It doesn’t have to be more cerebral or ethical than that.
Re: Abominable Views: It is worth considering how much influence you can have. I come from a pious family who have religious views that I find harmful. Over the decades of discussion, I have constantly challenged these views. Meanwhile, some family members have rejected the theology in question entirely and others are still believers but are much less delusional on these matters.
I am white, straight, and cis so it is neither painful nor dangerous for me to push against their religious prejudices. And it’s honestly up to those of us who are in a position to do so to tackle the attitudes and beliefs that hurt vulnerable people.
That being said, I love and love my family members, even when I think they are very seriously wrong about some things. Someone dealing with a terrible family might make the perfectly reasonable decision to take a break rather than continue to associate with them.
And you have to draw a line somewhere – I agree that neo-Nazis are beyond pallor.
Anonymous: A very nice place to draw a line, thank you.