I have known two of these friends for 65 years and it has never been a problem so far. One, whose daughter committed suicide a year ago, cried and prayed that I would join her and her daughter in Heaven. Another, who died of kidney failure, told me how much he will miss me in Heaven while I suffer in Hell.
I couldn’t get a word out with either of these longtime friends and chose to mute them on all of my devices.
I miss them and feel guilty for throwing them away. Did I do the wrong thing?
S .: If you think so, then you have; there is no absolute measure of right and wrong here. It is only what your heart and conscience tell you.
If you felt relieved, and / or these friendships had run their course, or such a flood crossed a line, it would mean you made the right choice or just needed – although I now urge you to explain this to your friends. instead of hiding behind mute buttons. They are both very clearly immersed in their own existential struggles, facing death in ways perhaps beyond their worst fears. Maybe their eyes have just been on you as a place where they feel they can make a difference. A more manageable place for their fears.
Because of this, and since you miss your friends and have almost half of your life of mutual acceptance and uneventfulness between you, you might as well find out if this is something you can all overcome – and even use to help each other. .
Let’s say they know how much you resist their post and their persistence is a reaction to it. If that’s true, that doesn’t make their desperation tactic your fault, of course; it just gives you a few options, because changing your behavior might be the most effective way to change theirs.
Specifically: if you’re willing to listen to them, to really hear them, then maybe it will appease them.
You don’t have to agree with your friends to hear them. You don’t even have to agree that they have the right to be heard, nor the right to exert such pressure.
But you can embrace in your personal life the same pragmatism that you hold close to in your spiritual life, and forgive their trespasses, this time, as a gift: “I’m sorry I made you deaf. With time to think it over, I realized that you might find it comforting to say your article.
Then ask questions. The good ones, the real ones, like, “How can I calm your mind?” And, “What if my soul if I’m not sincere?” This topic is really all questions.
Then conclude, “I understand this is your way of showing that you care. I care about you too. Close the topic. For real.
Maybe they won’t join you in this place of acceptance. But I doubt you regret having offered to meet them clearly there once.