Billie Eilish has always been outspoken. But his recent comments about sex in a Rolling Stone profile have turned heads.
“I basically talk about sex whenever I can,” she told the outlet. “It’s literally my favorite topic. My experience as a woman is that it’s seen in such a strange way. People are so uncomfortable talking about it and are weird when women are out there. “comfortable in their sexuality and communicative.” She added that “self-pleasure is a huge, huge part of my life,” saying it helps her connect with herself and share what she loves. She also spoke about embracing her sexuality and fulfilling her desire to have sex with women.
People have since criticized his comments: “I mean, I think in general people should be more open when it comes to talking about sex… but in one day I learned way too much about Billie Eilish’s sex life without looking for her,” he said. X the user wrote. Another said: “I’m the problem. I agree with the idea that Gen Z is really sex negative. And now we all need to know IN DETAIL how Billie Eilish masturbates. This It’s my fault, guys, I’m sorry.”
Experts say Eilish is right: When women talk a lot about sex, it can make people uncomfortable, but women should feel free to say whatever they want — and if you don’t don’t understand, You are the problem.
“If this situation describes you, check your biases and remember that no one should be ashamed of their sexuality or their body,” says Leora Tanenbaum, an expert on slut-shaming who wrote a book about sexy selfies .
Women are often humiliated when talking about sex
It makes sense that women have historically had a hard time talking about sex: “We grow up in a society that sexualizes women, but only from a man’s perspective,” says Celeste Holbrook, a sexologist, speaker and author. “We want women to be sexual, but only for men.”
To that end, “women are often uncomfortable discussing sex because we’re punished for it,” says Allison Moon, author of “Girl Sex 101.” “It’s not hard to find examples of people shaming women because of the number of sexual partners they’ve had or the type of sex they enjoy. Owning our sexuality often comes at a price . Whether it’s humiliation, rejection or just garden slut shame.”
Not to mention that sexual encounters for some young women are often frightening, traumatic or violent. “Research documents a high prevalence of nonconsensual choking, slapping, and name-calling during sex, and many women are certainly victims of sexual coercion and assault,” says Laurie Mintz, a licensed psychologist and sexuality professor. Human Sciences at the University of Florida. and author of “Becoming Cliterate.”
Additionally, the media rarely shows specific examples of female pleasure, and we even erase them from regular conversations. “We also call the entire body of women’s genitals a vagina, thus linguistically erasing the part of women’s bodies – the vulva and clitoris – that gives them the most pleasure and naming women’s genitals by the part most useful to men rather than to women themselves,” adds Mintz.
“I have never been a happy person”Billie Eilish opens up about her lifelong battle with depression
Billie Eilish is onto something
Sex experts are proud of Eilish’s bold quotes. “Comments like Eilish’s are shocking to some because they are refreshingly unashamed, even on topics as taboo as masturbation,” Moon says.
The comments reflect a broader societal sexual shift.
“Contrary to conservative attempts to control and deny our fundamental sexual nature, we live in an incredibly sexually liberated age,” adds Moon. “We are light years away from the sexual mores of our parents and grandparents…Eilish represents the refreshing possibilities we have access to when we step away from shame.”
In short, “if people are shaken by Eilish’s frank language, it’s because they are concerned when a woman expresses her sexual independence and rejects the idea that she needs a partner,” Tanenbaum explains.
Interesting:A meteorologist was fired after his webcam photos were leaked. Will the way we think about sex ever change?
So you’re not comfortable discussing sex
If talking about sex is difficult for you, don’t worry. Read and overcome your shame.
You might even feel ashamed without realizing it. “Shame can be internal: we feel broken or bad because of our desires,” says Moon, “or it can be external: politicians, pastors and parents tell us we are wrong. Even our peers can shame us. shame based on false narratives they have internalized.
Avoidance is not the solution. “People shouldn’t just avoid having sex as a solution to the toxic culture surrounding women’s sexuality, because we know that positive sexuality is associated with better life satisfaction and relationship satisfaction” , explains Mintz. “Instead, they should educate themselves by seeking out books and articles written by scientists about sexuality.” Also consider consulting a certified sexologist.
“The best antidote to shame and false gender wars is knowledge,” adds Moon. “Look for sexual resources that are respected, scientifically supported, and culturally liberating.”
Maybe then you will be “happier than ever”.
