Billie Eilish has said she would “rather die” than not have children. But she still “dreads” the experience.
In an interview with The Sunday Times, the Grammy-winning musician opened up about the possibility of being a mother, how, as she gets older, she worries about her future children and the hardships that can come from this experience. “The older I get, the more things I go through, I just think… what am I going to do when my kid thinks it’s the right thing to do and I’m, like, no, it’s not the case! And they won ‘don’t listen to me,'” Eilish said.
The 20-year-old added that being young in America is “scary” in light of a series of recent gun violence tragedies, including the mass shooting at an elementary school in Uvalde, Texas in May, which left 19 students and two teachers dead.
“Why is it normal to be afraid to go to school? ” she says. “You go to school and prepare for a traumatic experience or death that will change your life. What? Who? Where is the logic there?
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The “Happier Than Ever” singer also opened up about regaining her confidence after a long battle with low self-esteem. When Eilish began to struggle with the extent of her newfound fame, she says she let the need for validation dictate how she dressed.
At the time, Eilish’s style could best be defined by her baggy clothes and neon green hair. She said she “pretended to be a celebrity” because she felt unworthy of her success and her style made it easier for her to capture it.
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Despite her negative emotions, Eilish has reached many milestones in her career.
Eilish is the youngest person to win a Grammy for Recording of the Year, the youngest to headline Coachella and the youngest to reach one billion streams on Spotify. In March, Eilish and her brother Finneas won an Oscar for their James Bond theme ‘No Time To Die’.
But after feeling stuck in her public identity, she rebelled against this on the cover of British Vogue in June 2021, which featured blonde bombshell Eilish in a pink silk corset.
“Whatever you do is right and wrong,” Eilish told The Sunday Times. “Wearing baggy clothes, no one is attracted to me, I feel incredibly unlikable and not sexy and not beautiful, and people shame you for not being feminine enough. Then you wear something more revealing and they’re, like, you’re a fat cow whore. I’m a slut and I’m a saleswoman and I’m like every other celebrity who sells their bodies.”
Eilish said women in the public eye will face backlash no matter what they do and it taught her not to try to please everyone anymore.
“Over the past two months, I feel a lot more grounded in who I am,” she said. “I feel different now, like I’m desirable. I feel that I am capable of being as feminine as I wish and as masculine as I wish.
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