Tip: If you are deeply upset about the lack of engagement people have on your posts, you should first assess why you are deciding to spread certain media or thoughts online. What are you more concerned about – getting a reaction from others or creating a digital wallet of your life that others can simply subscribe to?
The framing of your question makes it clear that you want to believe the latter, but a desire for feedback from people seems to take over. For example, when posting about your surgery, if you share the famous hospital bracelet shot or anything that leaves viewers with question marks in their heads – it may seem like you’re leaving out valuable context to fish out reactions. It may happen unconsciously, but nevertheless, it happens.
If you instead post the details of your operation, what, when, how, and why, the intent seems rooted in archiving a memory, something you’re comfortable sharing with others as a bonus. Be grounded in your truth and then opening yourself up to connection creates a much healthier dynamic with what you decide to post on social media.
I don’t think it’s fair to always expect a reaction from people. With the amount of content consumed on these platforms, you can’t assume your audience will be at your beck and call. People tend to scroll through social media in downtime and the usage is often thoughtless. Like have you seen how quickly people type on Instagram stories or scroll through their Twitter feed? Really, I wouldn’t take it to heart.
Now, I’m not advocating for loved ones who don’t care about your serious life updates, but I think the lines get blurred if you only share those updates on social media instead of them. inform more personally. If something is shared so willingly with the general public, they may be confused as to their role in the situation.
Everyone’s use of social media is subjective. Younger generations seem more comfortable posting these updates on social media rather than emailing, calling or even texting individually. But if that’s you, I would more formally inform your loved ones about your use of these platforms or I would adjust your communication style according to what is most native to them.
That being said, I would be remiss if I did not acknowledge the growing desensitization among social media users. The amount of information we are exposed to now is far from natural, and I think it’s easier for our minds to numb rather than process it.
Others are starting to research whether what we experience through social media and AI interfaces can lead to decreased empathy for others and increased self-interest, so you’re not wrong to question it. Many of today’s design choices, such as audience engagement metrics, prevent users from indulging in pursuit of likes, shares, and reactions. But I don’t believe narcissism is inherent in these platforms – user intent plays a big role here.
You are navigating through an interesting period. Have high standards for your online and offline relationships, but prioritize empathy and communication along the way.
Do you have questions about life online? Seek advice from columnist Jules Terpak.
Tell it to the post office
