Anxious Traveler: How exciting! And brave. You have already followed the advice I would start with, which is to set a clear intention for what you want to get out of the experience. You’ve sent a clear and powerful message: you don’t want to “just sit on the sidelines and let life pass you by.” I believe this will help attract what you are looking for.
But what I’ve learned recently, after temporarily moving across the country for work, is that setting intentions isn’t enough. You need a plan. And not just a grand master plan. You need weekly or even daily goals. Be as specific as possible. Write down all of your desires, research how to address each one, and then plan exactly when you will incorporate them into your life. Otherwise, even in an unfamiliar place, you can quickly fall into a familiar routine that doesn’t activate all that new energy.
Want to learn the language? Sign up for a Vietnamese course and add it to your calendar before you go. Want to make friends? Join a Facebook group to access the local expat community and start making connections now. It may seem antithetical, but you should even plan for spontaneity, because the best experiences often emerge during the moments in between. For example, when you have more time, take advantage of leisurely walks to the market instead of hopping in a taxi.
You won’t be reinvented just by traveling. You reinvent yourself by reinventing your routines. Which doesn’t mean your life will go as planned. In fact, you’ll probably have the best excuses to abandon your plans. But building a structure around your intentions will help you execute them. I learned it the hard way.
As the rush of my new adventure hit, I set a similar intention and was inundated with visions of a new me, jogging daily in Pilates, joining a ceramics class, and hosting lively dinner parties. I hoped that a new life would suddenly unfold around me in my new environment. Two months later, when I was packing my bags to go home, I realized that the exhilarating life I had imagined had slipped away from me. The pull of my old routines was stronger than my willingness to make new choices. My fondest memories are of times when I pushed myself to do an adventurous thing outside of my norm, even when I didn’t feel like it. I would have liked to do more and if I could do it all over again, I would take the advice I am giving you now.
Gaining confidence in new environments is like building muscle. It sucks at first. But the more you flex it, the more it grows. Trust the same trust that has guided you through the world will continue to grow. Start small – start a conversation and invite someone from the Facebook group to join your Vietnamese course. Exploring common interests is a great way to build new relationships, especially when you find yourself in unfamiliar territory where organized group activities can feel safer. Also, when you commit to a date with someone else, it makes you responsible for following your own plans.
You have every reason to be a little scared as you set out alone across the world to explore the unknown. Many people feel anxious just about venturing out of the house to get groceries (especially after spending the last two years mostly at home). But a jolt of new experiences is exactly what you’re looking for. Do not miss the opportunity to actively harness this energy by taking action. Watch your confidence grow with every step as your world continues to expand.
There will inevitably be difficult times along the way. It’s normal whenever you decide to put yourself forward. But, trust me, it’s better than having regrets for not following your instincts to give it a try.
