We are not shy and do not plan to cover ourselves. And no, we are not going to “expose” ourselves. We just want to enjoy our tub in our birthday suits. Some non-neighbouring friends are appalled.
– Naked as God intended, EH
Naked: You will only get off on your own property, and I can’t imagine your nudity would break any laws (you should check your local statutes).
However, do you perhaps relish the prospect of alarming your neighbors? Just a little? And yes, of course, despite what you claim, you seem to want to “expose yourself”. It would be easy for you to drape a towel around you for that 20 foot journey from your house to the hot tub (don’t you need a towel, anyway?).
You might have neighbors who would choose to pull up their blinds, build a tall (or taller) fence, or simply stop using their own backyard – or you might have neighbors who would welcome your hot tub by directing binoculars in your direction or photographing you from their property and posting photos or videos on social media.
It’s a tricky legal issue, but if neighbors can see you freely from their own property without looking through a window or fence, your own right to privacy is less assured.
dear Amy: My wife and I are close friends of a married couple who we have both known since we all grew up together. However, my wife and her best friend haven’t spoken in six years.
Although we all agree that the friend had been quite “over the top” in many cases she apologized twice – but my wife just can’t forgive her. Her husband and I still managed to maintain our close friendship, keeping in touch by phone and email (since we live in different states).
My problem is that their granddaughter is about to get married, and we have been invited to the wedding. My wife refuses to go, saying that her friend hurt her very badly and that I would be disloyal if I went.
I want to be there for my friend, but I don’t know if that would be disloyal to my wife. This wedding is in another state and would require two nights. My friend would totally understand if I didn’t go, but I’m afraid I won’t allow my wife to dictate my actions that way.
wondering: Your wife has a personal right to continue to distance herself from her former best friend, but she has no right to insist that you maintain a distance from your own close friend.
Your wife’s ex-boyfriend has made several offers to get your wife’s attention, and inviting the two of you to this important family celebration is a major effort on her part (how many grandparents are entitled to? invite their own friends to a grandchild’s wedding?). Participating would obviously also be a major effort on your part.
In my opinion, attending this wedding would not show disloyalty to your wife, but in your household, my opinion will not matter much.
dear Amy: I applaud your response to J in New Yorkthe uncle who feels like a child should hug an adult even when he is uncomfortable.
I was raised in the generation that believed children should make others happy and allow unwanted touching, even when it was uncomfortable. When I was touched inappropriately, I was silent. When I was sexually harassed, I shut up. I had been taught to ignore my own discomfort.
I am determined that my young daughter will have autonomy over who is allowed to touch her. She is the child and she is not responsible for the feelings of the adults. We’ve had issues before with family members, and even strangers, trying to invade his space.
The other loving adults in a child’s life should not take it personally. Instead, they should try to understand that we all need to protect our children from dangerous people lurking in the shadows.
Mama Bear: Tragically, predators are most often not “dangerous people lurking in the shadows”, but family members or friends.
©2022 by Amy Dickinson distributed by Tribune Content Agency
