I sent him suggestions for good movies and shows to watch.
Every time I call her she won’t answer the phone but will send me an email or text.
Lately, during the pandemic, I’ve noticed that she is ignoring any positive, happy, or upbeat information I send her.
There is simply no answer. Nothing. She doesn’t say if she’s interested, she doesn’t ask me to stop sending her photos – nothing.
I’m an artist and love to share news about paintings I’ve done or home improvement projects my husband and I have managed to do.
I am of the opinion that friends should be happy for their friends, and the good news is fun to share!
If I send Sandy bad news, she’s everywhere. She responded to the news that our house had been broken into. She responded when I told her my laundry room was flooded.
All she likes to hear is bad news. Why is it? How to deal with a negative Nancy?
Optimistic: I completely identify with “Sandy”.
She might be less of a negative Nancy if you were a little less of a positive Penny.
Have you ever been chronically seriously ill? Have you ever been depressed? Maybe not.
Your impulse is to always try to cheer Sandy up by being upbeat. But sometimes when a person’s mind is weak, they don’t want to be happy about it. They don’t want someone constantly poking them with positivity.
Sometimes a person in pain does not want to remember their relatively messy lot in life.
They want a little understanding. Commiseration. A little, “Grrrrrrr. It sucks!
So yes, your optimistic messages about the wonderful work you are doing leave her indifferent, probably because she can’t do these things on her own.
But when bad things happen, Sandy identifies with you. She said, “Grrrr. It sucks!
Dear Amy: One of my husband’s brothers lives a few hours from us. We all like spending time together, playing games and talking until late at night, and then waking up “together” the next morning.
Here’s our dilemma: My sister-in-law kept all (and I mean all) of her grandmother’s furniture, including the beds that only have ¾ size mattresses. All the beds in their house are that small.
We would like to spend more time with them but have a very difficult time even for one night in the guest bed.
While my husband and I are in good shape he is 70 years old and we are still working and need to be rested and ready to go on Monday morning.
Hotels could be an option, but none of us on my in-laws side have done that (either at our house or at their house), and asking my SIL to change their decorating style doesn’t seem no longer be an option. .
We love them and get along so well, but sleep just isn’t working for us. Any suggestions, or are we just sucking?
Cramp: Given that this question arose during the dark days of the pandemic, I’m going to assume that you may be planning ahead for a time when home visits will safely resume.
Yes, find a comfortable place nearby. Say to those family members, “We treasure your hospitality, but as we get older we just need a little more space and privacy, so we’re going to rest our creaky old bones at Rosebud Motel overnight. We will be back home early in the morning for breakfast.
Dear Amy: “Hurt and Angry” wanted to write an angry letter to his uncle, who hadn’t reacted when Hurt’s parents were sick.
I’m glad you told him to write the letter – but wait until you send it.
Years ago, I sent a letter written in white heat, and it ended the relationship. I now have a different perspective. I wish I hadn’t.
Missed the mark: When I face this kind of challenge, I think to myself, “I can always react … later.
2021 by Amy Dickinson distributed by Tribune Content Agency