He takes this personally and I don’t know how to explain to him that it’s not personal – I just don’t want to do it. Your advice?
Nervous: Adults do not accompany each other on business trips. With rare exceptions, it is considered unprofessional to bring a “plus one”. Your own instinct points out the reasons. When you present in the morning, you often spend the night before sitting on your bed in a Guest Quarters suite, making fruit roll-ups and trying to load your PowerPoint.
The time after your presentation should be spent accepting your awards and networking with other professionals in your field. It is indeed distressing, and “encouragement” from a partner should be done at a distance.
Once you get your toe in the water, you can hope that there will be a cool event or conference in the future that partners are welcome to, but for now, it’s important that you focus about your work and that you project an attitude of serious scholarship. and professionalism.
Dear Amy: A little over two years ago, I made a comment to our daughter-in-law that I thought she was being too harsh on our eight-year-old granddaughter over what I considered to be a insignificant matter. We debated it, and she hasn’t spoken to me or my wife since. Our son doesn’t want to be involved.
I would very much like to make amends and move forward, which I think we could do in one session to clear things up, but I’m not sure how to proceed given his silence and continued refusal to even recognize our existence. Unfortunately, there is no mutual friend or neighbor who could step in and make things happen. Do you have any suggestions?
— A frustrated grandfather
Frustrated grandfather: Grandparents often appreciate a relaxed view of children, hard-earned through years of experience. But you also need to understand that unless you live with this child, you may not necessarily have all the information you need to decide whether a parenting problem is truly insignificant.
I’m not sure why you need another person to intervene when you could simply express your desire to put this behind you in a letter or email. I suggest you keep your message simple, acknowledging your sincere regret that your statement led to this breakup, and expressing your desire to make amends and move forward.
You might add that you realize your interference was unwelcome and perhaps inappropriate, but that your intentions were sincere. Say that your family doesn’t feel complete without contact with them. Invite her to speak up and assure her that your goal is to repair the relationship, for everyone’s sake. This situation is very regrettable. You want to repair the relationship, and she might be indifferent to the relationship, and so you’re the one who has to make the effort.
Dear Amy: “Superstitious“I was wondering how to get rid of a wedding ring that contained terrible juju. I have a great story about jewelry. Someone gave me a very unusual necklace and the relationship finally ended. I took the necklace and put it in a small jewelry pouch. I then threw the bag out the window of my car in a part of town where I knew someone would find it.
Fast forward to about a year later. Our newspaper used to publish photos of people who had been arrested, and one lady wore this same unique necklace in her arrest photo. I love knowing that someone found it and wanted it.
Amused: I have received many responses from people about what to do with jewelry that appears to have “bad juju” on it. Yours is my favorite. I guess you’re interested to know that the juju in your necklace is still working its magic. It’s something powerful.
© 2024 by Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency.
