In December, she was promoted. I was excited because she would be leaving my area and I wouldn’t have to take care of her anymore. However, she started coming to my office when I’m not there and leaving me little gifts. Again, I asked him to stop.
Last week she made a surprise visit to my office at lunchtime, which is in a completely different building in a different part of town. She came all the way to my workplace to say hello. I told him I appreciated it, but that I needed to get back to work. She said she didn’t feel respected, then wrote me a very long email saying she didn’t understand why we couldn’t be friends and wondered why I kept rejecting her.
She also said that she thinks that I am intimidated by her and that I am jealous of her confidence, that I am jealous of the things she does, the way she behaves and the fact that she is younger than me. She sent me notes and letters telling me I was very fragile, saying she knew I needed her to take care of me.
I just don’t know how to convince this lady to leave me alone. I’m a straight woman and I’m not attracted to her at all. I don’t need friends anymore. I feel like I’m being hunted. The lame, needy emails and letters she writes are just too much for me. I’m sick of it. What should I do? Should I contact HR?
Director: Yes, you should contact HR immediately. You probably should have gone a long time ago. This person appears to be a “single white woman” (look it up) – becoming more and more manipulative and obsessive over time. You tried to get her to stop several times and she did not respect your reasonable limits.
Print out any communications she sent you and contact HR immediately. You don’t know if she has behaved this way towards other people at the company, but her behavior towards you seems to have taken a threatening and alarming turn.
Dear Amy: My girlfriend and I have been together for three years. I really love him and we both think marriage is the next logical step. My problem is that I’m really afraid of losing my freedom. This fear really stands in the way of a proposal, and I wonder if that’s normal.
W: Just because “marriage is the next logical step” doesn’t mean you should. Marriage is illogical in many ways; For many people, marriage is a really exciting (and sometimes scary) leap into the unknown. But it’s a jump they’re willing to take, because they’ll be holding hands when they jump.
I think it’s normal to be nervous about extreme change in your life, but your fear of “losing your freedom” is telling. You must carefully and honestly evaluate what losing your freedom means to you. Free associate and make a list – don’t leave anything out.
Seeing this list might help you dig deeper and more consistently realize what’s holding you back. And if marrying your girlfriend doesn’t feel right, don’t do it! Unless you are really excited about diving headlong into married life with that special someone, you shouldn’t do it.
Dear Amy: “Uncle concerned” accused her sister of raising “useless and entitled” children. These children are 10 and 7 years old. Useless? Have a heart, man! They are children. Wait and see how they develop. This uncle’s job is to be a buddy and a role model.
Nicole: Not to mention the fact that this uncle was passing judgment from his perch as a long-term guest in his sister’s home.
© 2024 by Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency.
