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Ask Amy: I feel “lazy” not spending time outside in the heat

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Dear Amy: My husband and I talk about spending more time outside, whether it’s working, camping, or just sitting outside. I LOVE working outside and I LOVE working with my husband. We work so well together that when we are on the same page we can accomplish a lot.

My problem is that I’ve been so busy raising the kids (I’m a stay-at-home mom) that my work ethic isn’t there, and I can’t work outside for more than five minutes without sweating my head off. disabled! I feel like I’ve been so spoiled by turning on the air conditioner as much as I have, but when there’s no breeze and it’s 80 degrees, I have to turn it on; otherwise, it’s so hot in our children’s room that they have trouble sleeping.

I open the windows and we leave the ceiling fans on all the time (hot or cold). Is there anything else I can do to keep him comfortable without turning on the air conditioning? I feel so lazy (or too spoiled) because I can’t stand working outside anymore.

My previous jobs were as a cleaner at a feed factory, a welder, and a general laborer at a feedlot. I know I could handle the heat. And I know I miss working outside with my husband. Should I just keep going until I acclimate to the heat again?

Growing up, we had a window that my dad wouldn’t install until late July or early August – if he installed it at all. We currently have central air conditioning, so it’s very easy to turn it on or off for a few days. That’s why I think I’m just spoiled.

Spoiled: You may think that air conditioning is spoiling you, but I strongly advise you to get checked out by a doctor. It’s not wise to “push all the way” when you feel this way after five minutes of profuse sweating. For some people, heat tolerance probably changes with age, but your example seems extreme.

You are a former welder; you worked in a feedlot. You probably know what work-related sweating feels like. You know you need to continually hydrate and give yourself breaks to keep going.

If you don’t have an underlying health condition, you should be able to get somewhat used to working outside if you do it gradually, increasing your exposure over time. And yes, you should be able to acclimate to a warmer temperature inside your home by a few degrees if you change your air conditioning setting, but you shouldn’t make any changes until you get a good state of health.

Being a stay-at-home parent is very hard work, but it’s not always physically demanding in a sustained way like gardening (or welding). Please don’t disparage your own work ethic. If you keep hearth and home together, you work hard. Warming temperatures are forcing many people to adapt to a new reality. Go slowly.

Dear Amy: Several years ago, my wife’s sister divorced her long-time husband, “Chas.” He was my brother-in-law at the time, but now I’m wondering what to call him! After all, my wife and I didn’t divorce – and he’s still the father of our nieces and nephews!

Seriously, though, there is still a genetic relationship that makes me think of him as our brother-in-law. Obviously the genetic ties are more to my wife than to me (since she is her sister’s ex). One of my friends says no, it’s over, he is no longer related to you.

Is there an appropriate and/or legal response here, Amy?

Lost: I suppose divorce severs the legal ties between this man and you – but… who cares?! Genetics aside, how you refer to him largely depends on how you feel about him and the relationship you continue to share.

Unless it creates confusion or bad feelings within your family, I would say that – for you – once in-laws, always in-laws.

Dear Amy: I am very upset by your response to “A lying waiter“, who reported that at his restaurant they only served decaffeinated coffee, regardless of what people ordered or what pot it was served in.

You called it a “brilliant solution.” I call this a “scam”. And I can’t believe you approved it!

Horrified: The coffee/decaffeinated debate has really boiled over. Many readers are upset with my reaction to this solution.

© 2023 by Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency.

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