My only problem is our daughter-in-law. As sweet as she can be, she makes video calls every day, often more than once, to recite the details of her day. Honestly, it can be quite tedious. Sure, it’s nice to see our toddler granddaughter, even when she’s being difficult or uninterested, but these unscheduled video calls can last 10, 15, 20 minutes each, and too often take place during mealtimes or when we read, watch TV, or drift. go to sleep.
We have other children and grandchildren that we speak with about once a week. This amount of contact is pleasant and reasonable. I gently expressed my displeasure to my wife, who is mostly in agreement, but can’t bring herself to set some boundaries for fear of hurting our daughter-in-law’s feelings. After talking about it several times, I realized that my insistence was hurting my wife’s feelings.
I will occasionally move to another room, but since these are video calls, it’s hard to disengage without showing my annoyance or lack of interest. I just wish it would stay “short and sweet”. What do you think?
To hang up : It sounds like your daughter-in-law is very lonely. She wouldn’t video chat with her husband’s parents twice a day if she had friends, other family members, and other satisfactory outlets. Has your wife discussed this with her son? (Not the embarrassment of calls, but the question of his wife’s possible loneliness?)
Calling seems like a lifesaver for this mom, and your wife might ask if she participates in playgroups or other activities with other moms and their kids. This mother likely gave birth at the height of the pandemic, and I wonder if that experience caused her to isolate.
As the primary contact, your wife should encourage this new mom to find ways to connect with other families. The next time you visit, your grandparents should look at the opportunities in their neighborhood with fresh eyes. Visits to the local playground can generate many friendships for both the child and the parents.
Here are ways to create boundaries if she calls at an inopportune time: “Oh, we’re just sitting down to dinner. Everything is fine? Can we talk tomorrow?” Additionally, I suggest you “connect” (pay close attention) for a few moments to make eye contact in a friendly, sincere, and open way, then move on. You can also Change this dynamic if you initiate a call. You can start by saying, “I only have a few minutes, but I want to say hello quickly. How’s my sweet grandson?”
Dear Amy: One of my children is getting married this spring. I was deleted and not invited at all. My ex took me away from this child. I do not know what to do. Should I still send a card? Should I still send a gift?
Some say not to send anything. Some say I should have a nice vacation. What do you or others recommend I do?
Alienated: You should send your child a warm letter, congratulating him on his engagement and sincerely wishing the couple much happiness. Don’t overload it with history. End by saying, “I hope you have a wonderful wedding celebration with lots of joy.” I will think of you both. And then go on vacation.
Dear Amy: I’m quite disgusted by the first line of your recent response to “Parents who wonder”, who were urged by in-laws to raise their child according to Christian parenting concepts from YouTube channels. Your line says, “Jesus may have walked on water, but he never had to try to guide a toddler through the grocery store.” »
I don’t know why you think it’s appropriate to make fun of other people’s religion, and I would like to know why you wrote that offensive line.
Disgusted: I wrote this line because it’s funny. I don’t make fun of the religion of “others”, because it is also my religion. And if you don’t think our higher power has a sense of humor, I suggest you take a long look around you. Humanity is often hilarious.
© 2024 by Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency.
