Grandma: Hmmm. Let’s see. Is there a nice way to say, “This baby means nothing to me and therefore I am not interested in doing anything for the child?” » I have called an imaginary conclave among all the wise men whose wisdom I trust most, and all agree that your position and attitude towards this baby is exclusive and wicked.
This child is the brother of your grandchildren. Your grandchildren should be encouraged and allowed to accept and love this child. For what? Because it’s better for everyone. Your son is obviously encouraging/forcing you to accept this baby as a brother to your beloved grandchildren. Good for him. Acceptance from you makes your son’s life easier and more peaceful. This helps to integrate all the children into a sibling group.
If you want to give gifts only to your grandchildren, you should send these gifts to your son’s address and not to his ex-wife’s address. Furthermore, the fact that you have an angry attitude towards your son’s ex-wife leads you to passively punish your grandchildren, who are his children. Let your son carry his own water. You should work much harder to maintain a neutral attitude towards him and a loving attitude towards all children involved.
Dear Amy: My husband and I have temporary custody of our 10-year-old granddaughter “Sophie” as her mother (our daughter) is currently in court-ordered rehab for her long-standing drug addiction. Our granddaughter’s father is not in the photo. We believe our daughter is seriously trying to recover from her addiction, but we have been to this party several times and are realistic that we could raise our granddaughter more or less permanently.
Sophie is a great child! We are quite young and healthy and honestly, we have adapted and are enjoying our “re-parenting” experience. An aunt gave Sophie the first Harry Potter book for Christmas, and she really liked it. She’s glued to the book after school and over dinner she catches us up on the plot. During a call with her mother, Sophie recounted her enthusiasm for the book.
His mother contacted us and raised many objections to his reading this book. Her arguments were all over the place, but she took offense and asked us to remove the book and choose “more appropriate” material for her daughter to read. We want to respect his interest in this and we want to keep communication open, and so we don’t know how to respond. Should we give in?
Muggles: Your daughter is trying to control you. This could be a sign that her recovery has hit a snag or that she is frustrated and anxious. This problem could replace her grief over the loss of in-person contact with her child. I think you should answer calmly and honestly. Don’t let this become “a thing.”
Assure her that you will read the book with her concerns in mind and that while “Sophie” is with you, you will be attentive to her mother’s concerns, but that because she lives with you, you will be the main ones. people to make these decisions. types of decisions. Encourage her to stick to her plan. Being in recovery is the best parenting choice she can make.
Dear Amy: “Confused Father” wrote to you because his current wife wants her stepchildren to call her “Mom.” Thanks for pointing out that they currently have a mother that they are presumably attached to. My bonus children lost their mother in a way unexpected two years ago.
Even though I know that I will never and should never occupy the same place in their hearts, I am grateful to be a shoulder to lean on when they feel the need for the advice or support of a beautiful -mother.
Proud: There are many ways to be a great mom, without being called “mom.”
© 2024 by Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency.
