Recently a host assured me that all the ingredients were safe for me, only to find out later that they had buttered the pan with margarine, which triggered my allergies.
They just don’t understand how I have to pay to eat even a trace of it for the next three weeks, but they feel bad because I can’t eat what they eat, and they love it so much. food that they want to share. with me.
My favorite thing to do is bring my own food, but of course people are either very offended or so sorry for me that they will try to do something just for me.
I try to avoid dinner with certain people at all costs because of this.
What can I say to people who insist that I try their food because they did it just for me and they made sure they didn’t put anything in it that I couldn’t have?
I’m tired of being sick and tired of offending people.
Sick and tired: It’s hard to imagine a person with an indefinite autoimmune disease getting together with others for dinner parties during a pandemic, but, in the absence of that concern, you only need to know this: You are responsible for your health and well-being. Don’t leave something so important to someone else.
Your question is full of anticipation and speculation about how others will (or might) respond to your self-representation. Don’t focus too much on how others might pressure you and focus on your own health.
The answer is, you should bring your own food to gatherings involving food, because you can only safely eat what you have prepared. Communicate with the host beforehand: “I am on an extremely restricted medical diet due to my allergies, so I have to bring my own food. Does it bother you? I really don’t want to impose or make a big deal about it, but until my diagnosis is sorted out, it is essential that I only eat foods that I have prepared on my own.
If you feel pressured, answer, “Sorry, no. I know this is disappointing and I appreciate your efforts, but I have to be very strict about it.
If your friends and family are not adapting or adapting to your needs, then yes, you will need to avoid situations where you cannot safely withstand that pressure.
Dear Amy: “Conflicted” wrote to you, describing herself as an adopted wife who is reluctant to share news of her biological family with her sister.
You are right. Family relationships from birth affect everyone in the family.
Our two children are adopted, totally open with three of their four biological families. Knowing their biological family was a huge advantage for both children.
At first it was scary, but today every biological family looks like another in-laws. Everyone loves a common child, so we have come to love each other.
More love is never a bad thing.
We have a “family orchard” instead of a family tree: one tree each for my husband’s family, my family and the extended family of each of their biological parents.
Our children are the roots, closely related to their biological families, to us and to each other.
– Adoptive mother fully open
Fully open adoptive mom: A “family orchard” also describes my own family – and many others.
Thanks for the beautiful pictures. It’s the perfect way to imagine the experience of being with a loving, complex and modern family.
Dear Amy: “Afraid Grandma” was frantically worried about her grandchildren corresponding with pen pals, thinking they might be in danger.
Surely she’s old enough to remember when every year most people received a large phone book of everyone’s name, phone number and address? Also known as: the phone book ?!
I think it’s wise to be careful with any correspondence – physical or virtual – but these kids had parents on hand, so grandma should let them look after their kids.
2021 by Amy Dickinson distributed by Tribune Content Agency