Anton Ferdinand admitted he ‘fell in love with the game’ after the high profile racism incident involving John Terry.
An independent disciplinary panel found the former England captain guilty of racial abuse of Rio’s brother Ferdinand during a Premier League match between QPR and Chelsea in October 2011.
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The incident had a lasting effect on Ferdinand
Subsequently, the Football Federation banned Terry, who was accused of calling the former QPR defender a ‘fucking black c ***’ for four matches and fined him £ 220,000 .
The new documentary, ‘Anton Ferdinand: Football, Racism and Me’, airs on BBC One on Monday evening and Ferdinand hopes this will result in governing bodies handling similar situations differently in the future.
He told talkSPORT Breakfast on Monday: “The documentary covers most of the court cases, but also the deeper issues in terms of the ripple effects that an incident can have on someone.
“Not just them, but their families, loved ones… letting people know that an incident can shape someone’s future.
“By making the documentary and looking back at it, I learned how much of a problem it was for me, mentally. I have been a victim of social media abuse for over two years.
“It will just show people the ripple effects of an incident and how the FA, PFA, Premier League can come together not to face a situation if it ever happens again.”
Asked by Watford forward Troy Deeney if making the documentary had been therapeutic for him, Ferdinand replied: “I did not go into this documentary thinking it was going to be therapeutic.
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Terry was found not guilty of the alleged offense by a court
“My message is very clear in the documentary, it’s about positive change, it’s about the next generation.
“In order for people to understand this, they first have to understand what I really went through. That was it for me more than anything.
“I’ve said very clearly to the BBC from the start, if it’s a documentary where it’s Anton vs. John Terry, I don’t want to be part of it.
“But if it’s something that’s going to educate people on how not to deal with an incident like mine, then I’m part of it because I’m all about positive change.
“It wasn’t until I started making the documentary and watching it again, I realized how therapeutic it was for me.
“I had psychological problems, especially since the death of my mother, which were unconsciously there. I was fighting with it, but I didn’t know what I was fighting with.
“Being able to do it and looking back at it brought the subconscious thoughts to the fore. So I was able to take care of them.
“This is where it was therapeutic for me. I can move on. Even though I say I’m moving on, this is the start for me in terms of creating positive change.
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Terry’s punishment came 11 months after the incident
Ferdinand revealed that the incident took a toll on his relationship with football.
After leaving QPR in 2013, he had stints with Antalyaspor in Turkey, Reading, Southend and more recently on the Scottish side of St Mirren.
Ferdinand added: “It really affected my relationship [with football].
“I’m a young boy from Peckham who grew up on the board field commenting while the ball was at my feet, being a player like John Barnes.
“I lived my dream of playing in the Premier League. I played it for 11 years and all of a sudden it was taken away from me. I fell in love with the game. I still love to play.
“But I hated what football was. It’s part of the ripple effects of what happened. The abuse of social media, the lack of support from the governing bodies and my peers around me.
“I would say the people at my football club at the time were very good. The fan base of the clubs I played for was very, very good.
“People outside of that, the support wasn’t there for me. It made me fall in love with the game and hated what it stood for.
“But I’m happy to say that towards the end of my career my love for the game returned and I was able to feel that love fully again.
