The result was not what they expected and Miriam, who attends a diverse school, was inconsolable. When her father put her to bed, she was crying, “” Donald Trump hates my friends, “” he said. “I started to think,” Why did I invest so much in this? “”
To help her daughter get rid of her disillusionment, the 40-year-old banker plans to attend the 2017 March of Women in Washington. “I wanted to show him that we have a responsibility to speak up and be part of the process,” he said.
In this polarized political environment, there is almost certainly a gathering, a march or a demonstration which takes place somewhere in the United States on a given day. Whether it’s gun or civil rights, the rescue of babies or the planet, the war on poverty or the war in Afghanistan, like-minded people come together to defend a cause – and bring their children with them.
Although Catherine Glenn Foster, President of American United for Life, comes from the other end of the political spectrum than Shearn, she used the same words – “responsibility”, “instill beliefs” and “take action” – to explain why she took her three children (aged 13, 7 and 5) to anti-abortion marches from the moment they were in a stroller.
“I love the concept of taking to the streets,” said Foster. “We can all sit behind our computers and educate social media all day. But there is something to do with all of these people and to feed on all of this hard-to-reproduce energy. I want my children to experience it. “
Children generally do not have a say in participation and do not understand the nuances of many questions, if presented at all. But children get their values from their parents – and political activism is an extension of these beliefs.
“You can call it indoctrination, but parents do it all the time,” said Tama Leventhal, professor of child development and social policy at Tufts University. Whether it is taking our children to our house of worship or moving to a particular neighborhood, she said: “We transmit our values to our children through our actions. … In most cases, attending a walk or a demonstration is in line with other things that parents are already doing.
“Taking the children to a demonstration teaches them to take action and to look beyond the family, the school and the community to broader societal issues,” she added. “This is a way to introduce children to leadership skills. … We want the young generation to be politically active and play a role in society, whatever that role. “
Connie Flanagan, a professor at the School of Human Ecology at the University of Wisconsin in Madison, describes the decision as “complicated” – a decision that requires thoughtful discussion beforehand. “You can’t just put a sign in your child’s hand and be done with it. You have the responsibility to explain. “
What should parents consider before deciding to take children under the age of 10 to a public demonstration? Parents have to weigh maturity and interest, but safety must always be the top priority, said David Hill, a pediatrician in Wilmington, North Carolina, and father of five.
After filming the school in Parkland, Florida in February 2018, Eve Jorgensen of Little Rock, Arkansas, felt compelled to attend the first Moms Demand Action rally with her two children, then ages 3 and 5 years.
Her advocacy for tougher gun laws is closely linked to her parenting; before any play date, she asks if there are any guns in the house. Jorgensen, 38, wanted to take her kids, but she didn’t want to scare them either – so she made her own rules. They attended this initial gathering together, but now, if she knows that Second Amendment activists will be at the protest, she leaves the children with her in-laws or takes them away.
She also struggled to solve the larger problem of gun violence, eventually falling into complete frankness. Despite all of her efforts, Jorgensen realized that she could not protect her children – especially because they have locking exercises at their elementary school to prepare for the possibility of an active shooter. “It’s a fact of life,” she said. “I prefer that they feel hopeful and empowered rather than frightened.”
As the biracial mom of a 10-year-old African American boy, Chicago lawyer Michelle Hughes also said that she needed to give her only son the skills to defend himself. They have attended protests on issues such as civil rights and the funding of education since her son was in kindergarten, and she wants him to be prepared.
“Sooner or later we’re going to be yelled at,” said Hughes. “It comes with the territory. Whether it’s racism, sexism or something else, I want him to know that he can use his voice … that he’s not a victim. “
They attend at least one event a year, and his son enjoys the festive atmosphere where people take pictures of him and his homemade signs or bumper stickers on his jacket.
She encourages her son’s participation in the protests – even when he does it solo. In 2017, when an anti-gun demonstration was organized at Max’s school, the parents were excluded from campus because the event was not sanctioned by the school. It was therefore up to the students to leave the classroom alone at 10 a.m.
Of course, nurturing good citizenship does not require a massive event on the Mall in Washington or a dramatic walkout at school. Parents can find many opportunities in daily life. Experts have offered these additional examples and tips for raising civic-minded children.
* Ask open-ended questions that lead young people to think more broadly.
* For young children, focus on the issues that directly affect them. For example, if the neighborhood playground has been vandalized, you may ask, “Why would someone do this?” What should we do about it? “With the homeless, you could talk about affordable housing or the lack of mental health services.
* The difference between teaching children about democracy and indoctrinating them with your beliefs lies in the way you frame the story. For example, a parent might say, “Our family thinks guns are bad for society, but there are others who disagree. Here’s what they say and why it’s important for us to know. “
* Respect for the model, a rare commodity in today’s discourse. By inviting opposing perspectives and providing a loving and safe environment for exploring ideas, you are building the tools of civic engagement.
Foster of American United for Life said she had discussed abortion with her older daughter in a “life-affirming, libel-free way.” She even told her own story of abortion at the age of 19. His conclusion: “We all make mistakes, but this is not the end. … We can take these mistakes and do better. “
* How can parents know when activism is too much? If this is causing distress to your child – anxiety, anger, conflict with peers – it’s time to back off, said Hill. “When our own passions start to interfere, we must remember to let our children be children, not little cultural warriors.”
Shearn takes this approach with his now 11-year-old daughter. “I still think it is important to teach these lessons, but in an age-appropriate way,” he said. “What I learned is a little bit more filtering.”
Bonnie Miller Rubin is a journalist and writer living in Flossmoor, Illinois. Find her on Twitter @bmrubin.