So, almost as if I knew a pandemic would someday come and get us all locked in our homes, I’ve spent the last few years trying the online programs of several famous home workout gurus, all probably not by. fate of somewhat manic Americans like Rocky. My journey to fitness consisted of crawling, crouching, jumping and scurrying around my living room before settling into a routine that only requires doors and furniture. (And a tool kit for fixing the jaws you loosen while pulling.)
At first, I turned to Long Beach strength legend Charles Atlas after hearing his name mentioned in the violent British television comedy “Bottom”. His famous “dynamic tension” program – supposedly inspired by watching a caged tiger stretch and incorporating everything from breathing techniques to push-ups between chairs – certainly hurt me, but it didn’t seem have a lot of manageable progress. Plus, two hours of squeezing my hands together before a night shift quickly became monotonous.
How could I get a more efficient workout in less time? Chris Jordan, director of exercise physiology at the Johnson & Johnson Human Performance Institute, seemed to have a similar motivation when he designed the bestseller “7 Minute Workout” “to specifically address the needs of our stressful corporate clients. of time that travel frequently. , and spent much of their time in hotels. His system, at 3 million downloads and above, feels like the toughest seven minutes of your life: 12 exercises, lots of high intensity, performed for 30 seconds each with minimal or no rest between sets. You go from jumps to squats to blurry crunches, without strictly walking around and checking social media before your next round.
But personally, even seven exhausting minutes made me feel like I was cheating. My job has always required me to move heavy loads quickly – like freshmen who have abused alcohol or power tools misplaced by contractors – but it can also involve long periods of downtime. I wanted to make sure I was getting at least my minimum 75 minutes of intense weekly exercise. Should I, or someone else, count “7 minutes” as their complete fitness offering?
Even Jordan doesn’t seem to think so. “If you have the time, access to equipment, and motivation, I recommend incorporating other workouts that you enjoy or that challenge you,” he wrote to me.
It was an inter-triathlon plumber training that guided me to Beachbody’s “P90X,” the best-selling home exercise program that would have helped sculpt Republican running mate Paul D. Ryan. Much longer than the “7 Minute Workout,” the intense regimen only required dumbbells, a pull-up bar and a minimum hour a day in the company of Tony Horton, the hyper-enthusiastic trainer whose videos are guaranteed to tear you up. in three months.
He wasn’t lying: Four non-stop sets of the 13-week program later, I had single-digit body fat, my best athletic ability – and my first visit to the doctor in seven years, with chest pain.
“I’m concerned in general about the high intensity ‘HIIT’ workouts which are popular right now,” wrote Gwilym Morris, consultant cardiologist at the University of Manchester and middle member of the British Heart Foundation. “The reason is that there is some evidence that adverse events such as heart attacks or sudden death during exercise are more likely to occur during high intensity physical exertion. Sprinting for the line in a marathon is a classic example. “
Armed with similar warning advice from my own doctor, along with the realization that an hour of daily circuit training takes up precious Lego time with my daughter, I set myself a specific fitness goal: longevity, life expectancy. I wanted a routine that I could perform in my sunset years.
Who better to turn to than Jack LaLanne? In Britain he is best remembered for his juice machine infomercials, but anyone who has read Noah Hawley’s hit thriller “Before the Fall” will know him as the man who, at 70, towed 70 boats with 70 people along the port of Long Beach. for a mile and a half. Well chained. And swim against the tide. He also opened one of the first health studios, hosted a fitness TV show, and developed some of the machines still used in gyms today.
Written when he was 90, LaLanne’s “Live Young Forever” contains his brutally simple dietary recommendations (“If the man did it, don’t eat it” and “If it tastes good, spit it out”). as a home workout routine. But again – and this isn’t a criticism of Jack – I doubt he could have hit his record 1000 pull-ups on live TV by simply following the dumbbell hypertrophy program he describes. in the training chapter of the book. Four sets of bench press will undoubtedly build your chest, but Jack’s own routine reportedly lasted over two hours, starting at 5 a.m. each day, and included over 100 handstand push-ups and nearly 50 curls. 100 pound dumbbells. I did not find such a heavy load at home. Not unless I’m ready to start squatting in the fridge.
Convinced that an authentic and lasting home workout routine was a myth, I was about to ditch the Yanks and return to see British prisoner Charles Bronson’s ‘Solitary Fitness’ when a scarlet icon blew my mind. above the App Store.
You Are Your Own Gym, a strength training workout, is based on the book of the same name, which claims to be “the bible of bodyweight exercises.” It was developed by former US Air Force Special Operations Trainer Mark Lauren, and his sample chapter – available by registering on the author’s website – opens with the following quote: “I does not train movie stars, TV celebrities, models or other personalities whose livelihoods depend on being in shape. I train people whose lives allow it. As I read these words, I sat down on my couch, as motivated as I was by my first cut, “Rocky”.
“Physical condition and athletic ability are primarily dependent on achieving ideal joint alignment and maintaining them,” says Lauren, writing from her home in Tampa. “I started creating programs for myself when I was 12 years old. Then I did it as a special ops specialist for many years before doing it for the public. ” His flawless approach to fitness has had international reach: “You Are Your Own Gym” has become a bestseller, both in the United States and Germany, where it is published under the title “Fit ohne Geräte”, or fitness without equipment.
“My German audience seems to particularly like the efficiency and simplicity of my home training program,” Lauren wrote. “The average age of the 4,000 subscribers to my website is 42, and many of them are in their 60s. Exercise is good, but it can also hurt you. I apply stress in a thoughtful way. The soldiers taught me to plan.
Lauren’s schedule won’t be for everyone – be prepared to risk having your interior doors loose if you regularly perform her Let-Me-In rowing exercises – but she did what the best routine for me. training should: eliminate uncertainty. When my muscles felt like they had been tasered after day one of the core program, I knew the routine was legitimate. I have continued training to this day, even during the holidays.
My favorite thing about the routine is that she understands that fitness shouldn’t be strenuous. My job means that I spend several weekends without seeing my family; now at 2 in the morning when my girlfriend is exhausted from her job as a teacher i still have the energy to put our daughter back to bed after a bad dream. If she wakes up before she wakes up, she can walk into the front room and watch me finish my 36 minute bodyweight workout. I might be in a sweat puddle afterwards, but my daughter loves to see the man with the “movie voice” (American accent) helping dad get ready for work. She even joins sometimes; Her favorite movement to date is the one-arm push-ups. It might be fate, but these were also featured in “Rocky.”
George Bass is a contributing writer for The Guardian, The New York Times, The New Statesman, and The New Scientist. Find it @ GeorgeBas5.
