It’s a dynamic that chef, food writer and supper club host Rosie Kellett knows better than most. After living in shared accommodation for years in London, she moved into a warehouse where the tenants practice community living. The seven housemates contribute £25 a week to one pot and share all the groceries, cleaning supplies and basic toiletries from the weekly shopping. Each roommate is responsible for preparing one meal per week, and meals are generally social occasions.
The format isn’t the norm, especially in the United States, and Kellett says she certainly found it informative about the best ways to share a kitchen. I’ve also had quite a bit of experience with shared spaces: I lived with my best friends in rundown apartments while studying, I was crammed into cramped student accommodation while studying in London, I stayed in a large building with a constantly rotating cast. of roommates during a two-month stay in Dublin, I crashed into my boyfriend and his brother’s two-bed, one-bath house at the start of the pandemic and am now the proud renter of a house quintessential Washington row with two adorable roommates who became good friends.
As time has passed and food has played a more important role in my life, my relationship with shared spaces, particularly the kitchen, has evolved. One day you’re the roommate with a few too many dishes in the sink (sorry!) making microwaveable noodles, and the next you’re the one making multi-course meals and getting high like shade with a damp cloth and vacuum, cleaning up messes as they occur. I’ve learned by being both the problem and the solution, and I continue to find ways to become a better, more caring roommate.
I asked Kellett what advice she had gleaned from transitioning to communal living and drawn from my own experiences sharing different cuisines to offer guiding principles that can help bring harmony to all types of situations of life.
Communicate and compromise
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The most important advice is perhaps also the most obvious and universal. Sharing space amicably requires communication, compromise, and consideration – and lots of each. Before you prepare your first meal in a shared kitchen or decide which pots and pans to place on which shelves, you should talk with your roommates about your routines, expectations and priorities. How often do you all cook? What does a clean kitchen look like to you?
“I just think communication is imperative and there’s bound to be a little conflict,” Kellett says. She says having a regular forum to raise any issues that arise helps defuse tensions and nip problems in the bud. For her and her roommates, that means regular meetings over meals with a predetermined agenda.
“The important thing is to get into the habit of having conversations,” she says. “They always tend to run smoother if it’s not once a year.”
Create shared shelves in the pantry and refrigerator
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Unless you’re running an underground bakery with your roommates, there’s no reason a single household would need five bags of flour and several dozen eggs. And even! Many of my old apartments operated with each roommate purchasing their own ingredients and storing them on their own shelves, sharing only the basic seasonings and spices. This led to a buildup of countless duplicate ingredients that were never completely used up.
Kellett says she encourages “anyone living with roommates to at least suggest sharing the things that everyone uses on a daily basis,” and that these ingredients may be different for specific groups of people. My roommates and I have now discovered that sharing condiments, sauces, citrus, butter, pantry staples, and bulk ingredients makes the most sense for us and the way we cook.
Not only does this save valuable shelf space, but it also reduces unnecessary food waste. When I can’t whip up a meal from the items in my pantry section, I can see what others have contributed to the group shelf and often use that as the basis for my meal.
Kellett says you can contribute a few dollars a week or month to a pooled fund used to purchase shared items, but I also often volunteer to replenish the ingredients I know I crave the most, like chili oil and lemons.
Swimming pool kitchen equipment set
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When I was at grad school, I lived in a student share house in London. I arrived a week later than my roommates and when I asked what I could bring, I was surprised to find that everyone was responsible for purchasing their own cooking equipment. Too shy to suggest a different approach, I timidly brought back several pots and pans from Ikea.
In a kitchen that was essentially a small hallway with a little counter space on either side, this made the cramped conditions even worse. During the six months I lived there, I barely cooked, hoping to avoid overflowing cupboards and the perpetual mess of kitchen utensils.
Fortunately, you can avoid this fate by pooling together what you and your roommates already own and deciding from there which gaps need to be filled. If you need to buy something new, you can always split the cost and track new purchases in an easy way. spreadsheet so you can settle in when roommates move out and take items with them.
Follow the golden rules of cleaning
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It goes without saying, but you are responsible for your own damage. Spills, splashes and dirty dishes should be dealt with promptly. For me, that means no later than the end of the day, but everyone has different expectations. (See the first tip!)
I believe, however, that the main addition to this rule is that if someone cooks for the group, everyone else must take over cleaning up after the meal. Besides being a more equitable division of labor, it also incentivizes you and your roommates to cook for each other – a win-win in my opinion.
In my university apartments, I hated the exchange of weekly tasks. I would often lose track of what task I had been given – or forget to do everything together. Task boards are often the default division of labor in shared spaces, but they don’t necessarily make the most sense. Cleaning is a habit, and you’re more likely to remember to do the same task you’ve been doing for weeks or months.
Taking on defined responsibility also encourages a stronger sense of ownership. If a kitchen job isn’t completed, it’s easier to sit down and discuss why there’s a problem and what can be done to remedy the situation.
In Kellett’s warehouse, tasks include doing weekly groceries for all roommates, washing towels, taking out trash, and recycling. Kellett takes on the role of “fridge defender,” cleaning out the fridge at the end of each week to ensure any languishing ingredients are quickly used up or thrown away.
Because her kitchen is also her office, Kellett is naturally drawn to the task and suggests that it helps to choose a task that highlights your strengths. And if someone is unhappy with their responsibilities, all it takes is a conversation to find a better solution. “We’re like, look, you don’t like the work you’re doing, so let’s talk about it and we’ll change the subject,” she says.
Take time to sit down for a meal together
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In February, my roommates and I went vegan (with some success) for the month, forcing us to step away from our usual eating habits and rhythms. We challenged ourselves to cook a new recipe every week from one of our many cookbooks, breaking us out of culinary ruts. The result was successful on several fronts: in addition to eating more plants, we also found a new way to communicate during busy work weeks while sharing the burden of cooking and cleaning.
For beginner cooks, this can also be an opportunity to practice and feel more comfortable in the kitchen. “I think cooking for large groups can be really intimidating,” says Kellett. “But if you’re given the space to learn how to do it in a really relaxed environment and without judgment or pressure, then you can learn to really appreciate it and love it.”
Whether you’re strangers or best friends, the simple act of breaking bread makes a house feel like home. And, as Kellett notes, you can cook a great meal on any budget and in any space. “I just think the more we come together with our friends and with our communities and recharge each other rather than the outside world, the better life will be,” she says.
